Thursday, January 11, 2007

Why Do I Even Leave The House?

So God thought he was pretty funny today. I posted on praying for your enemies this morning and come to find out, today my enemies consisted of my husband and the spawn of his loins!

Allen called this morning at 5:15, which I'm up because I get up when he does to make sure he has a fresh pressed shirt, all his clothes laid out on the bed so when he gets out of the shower, he's set, and make his lunch, get his morning drug in the form of Dr. Pepper and be ready to hug and kiss him goodday. As he called, my cell phone died because I had forgotten to plug it in, he calls on the home phone and starts in with me about forgetting to plug it in and why I needed to do it at night and...and I interrupted and asked "What do you want Allen?" he hung up. Which yes, did irritate me and yes I was a little curt with him and yes I'ld say my hormones are a little on the irritable side the last couple of days. My first instinct was to wait awhile and then text him that I had gone into labor to meet me at the hospital since he was on a job an hour away, jk...kinda. I didn't, but I'm beginning to question my submission skills.

Took the kids to Daylight Donuts for donut holes to keep them occupied during the first couple of errands. I didn't eat one but the baby had a marshmallow cream filled piece of heaven. I'm beginning to question my future dieting skills.

Stopped at the copy shop, sold some Girl Scout cookies.

Dropped off paperwork at my OBGYN's to do a cord blood donation. (Which I highly encourage any of you ladies expecting to consider this.)

Headed to the post office, and was sitting at a stop light and the light had just turned green and the lady behind me honked. I'm in a mini van, I know it often gets mistaken for a Maserati and she probably just wanted to see me peel out. My first instinct was to throw it in reverse and ram into her, JK...kinda. Luckily she pulled into the post office behind me so I had planned to give her the sweetest hello and find something genuine to compliment her on just so she would be uplifted and maybe pass on some kindness. However when I pulled into the post office I remembered a pillowcase I was suppose to mail to my mom, went back home to acquire that. Which is only a block away but still inconvenient. (40isfun, I did get your stuff mailed!) I'm beginning to question my driving skills. (Since someone just told me in so many fingers 2 nights ago that that thought I was number one!)

As I pull up I see a stray pit bull walking around, my 1st instinct was to run over him, jk... kinda, those dogs just scare me. By this time all the kids have to go potty, everyone out. Found the pillowcase, buckled everyone back in then went looking for the dog...not to run over just call the animal control, they know us, we're tight. I called the cops on them a couple of years back because I saw a guy running down the street with a pistol in his hand looking all sneaky, I didn't notice his shirt said Animal Control. They were still really nice when they came to get the crazy possum out of our garage and just as nice when they had to come back for his friend. We had to call them a couple months ago to come get a skunk that had adopted us as his new family, unfortunately the poor guy that came over that time got sprayed.

We head back to the post office and see the lady that honked at me at the convenience store on the corner, so she must be one of my neighbors. Maybe she honked because she has seen me out in the yard and wants to be my friend or something. LOL. Start to walk inside and slacked off a little as an elderly man, with a cane was coming in so that he could go ahead of me. And you won't believe this, but a grown man runs, yes runs, in to cut in front of the old guy. My first instinct was to trip him, jk...kinda.

Then we go over to a friends house to return some stamps and project examples I had borrowed from her. That was about the time my kids lost interest. They were tapping on the windows, got out of their car-seats and were wrestling around, yelling just to see if I really could hear through the windows. Overall just making a great impression. This of course is a lady that I admire, her husband is a well known Dr. they have 5 kids, they home-school, she coordinates Angel Food in town, heads the women's ministry at church and is on the board for the pregnancy center and has her own stamping up business. And here are my kids, now blowing on the glass and making goofy faces because after-all it is tinted glass. Have you seen the movie Parenthood when the kid put the bucket over his head and was running into walls? I can sympathize with his parents. I'm beginning to question my own parenting skills.

As I chatted with her, a huge alarm went off that I had forgotten to put on deodorant, probably because I was started to perspire a little with the frustration and embarrassment of my kids. I leave, have a little chat about what I expect, again, and let them know they have all lost 1 privilege as I'm racing back home. Run in and wash my pits and put on some deodorant. I think I have an obsession about it. I'm beginning to question my memory skills.

Head out again this time to the pediatrics office to get a copy of the updated shot record and sell some more cookies. Thank goodness I put on deodorant, it was at least 72 degrees in there! And at this point in the pregnancy 55 is good. Everybody had to go potty, again.

Decide to go out to eat vs going back home and making something out of fear I wouldn't leave the house again. We go to Chinese as this is the kids' favorite restaurant and since hubby thinks it's gross it was a good day for it. But now after we6tees comment on the ladles, it all looked different. lol. The kids did really good and several people complimented us as to how sweet, how cute, how well behaved they were. So that was nice, however I also thought it a good idea to get out of there as quick as possible so as to leave them all with a good impression before the kids became kids again.

We head to Wal-Mart to get some groceries, As soon as we get there, everyone has to go potty, again. As we left the bathroom Brian thoughtfully turned out the lights on everyone else. It was very busy as there is a storm coming in. Everyone was stocking up and I had to wonder if the retirement village had brought a bus of their residents as we attempted to miss getting ran over by all the scooters. I even saw 2 shopping cart head on collisions with some elderly folks not watching were they were going, it was scary. Shortly after we get there, Makensie starts in with her antagonizing and trying to wrestle with the two younger kids. She lost a total of 5 days worth of TV before we left. As I was checking out, I just knew the lady in front of my was going to say something as she couldn't quick staring and shaking her head as Brian stood squeezing all the dog toys. Then she asks if I'm having #4. yes. Then she shakes her head at me and turns back around. My first instinct was to ram her with the cart, jk...kinda. But I just stood preparing myself that if she did say something I would simply say thank you for her input and go on. She didn't. I'm beginning to question a future vascetomy.

We leave and go to the bank to make a deposit, was able to pull right up to a cashier, Yes! Then couldn't find the check, pulled out of line to look through my purse then pulled back in line to find now 3 other people in front of me. NO!

Head to the library not for a treat so much as the fact that I needed to go and get books for next week. As soon as we get there everyone has to go potty, again. I don't like using the bathroom there as the walls and doors are so thin, you can hear someone going. Brian goes in first and after a bit I hear, "MAAAAMAAAA, come wipe me!" I had barely taken 3 steps to the door when he decided I must not have heard him the 1st time so yells at the top of his lungs again, "MAAAAMAAAA, COME WIPE ME!" I laughed as several of the adults sitting around looked up. Then Gabby and makensie went in together. That was when I start hearing some ruckus and Kensie yelling "I have to go worse than you" and Gabby screaming at her, "I was in here first get out! GET OUT MAKENSIE!" I race over and open the door and in my most threatening look and whisper say, "that's enough, hush." I tell Makensie to wait that Gabby was there 1st and shut the door, I hear the door lock behind me. They locked me out then continued their "discussion". I was so embarrassed. My first instinct was to just leave them there, jk...kinda. So I put back all their books and movies, quietly snuck out and put everyone back in the van. I'm beginning to question my sanity.

I'm home now and after some "training" and unloading groceries, everyone is enjoying some quiet time and I'm making margaritas, JK.

Tab thank you for letting me borrow the blood pressure cuff.

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