Monday, August 25, 2008

Invasion of the Bodily Functions

Besides the torrential downpour of rain, all went well with the yard sale, so that project is finished. Stamp club was a lot of fun this past time, I'll post pictures this week.

So this last week was not short on the gross factor.

I was changing Wyatt's diaper, which this child would rather be dirty than lay long enough to politely get his bottom freshened. He was stinkin up the place and when I went to change him, here's his own personal audience of Brian, "I just want to see how much he pooped." Sure why not, chalk that up to a science experiment and hopefully future reference for when you will graciously change your own kids diaper to help your precious wife. Or maybe on your way to being a proctologist. I pull the diaper off and start feverishly wiping this greased pig that is squealing in protest. Brian is dying laughing and I smart off, "If you think it's so funny, you finish wiping him." "OK!" Of course. So now Brian is wiping and still laughing. I tell him, "Brian you have to clean his cheeks off too, not just the crack." Brian is still laughing, but pauses to look at Wyatt then using the same wipe, cleans off the side of Wyatt's face. "BRIAN! STOP IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Now sober..."you told me to clean his cheeks."

Makensie asked me touch under her arms, after I did, she told me to smell my fingers that she thought her underarms stank. And sure enough, they did.

Then at bath time, I sat down on the mini chair and it was soaking wet. "Gabby, are you suppose to splash in the tub?" "No. I didn't." Thinking, "ok, so... someone must have gotten out of the tub after they were wet or Wyatt splashed." Nope. Gabby informs me, "Wyatt peed on the chair when he was getting in the tub." And it didn't cross your mind to warn me before I sat down??!

3 comments:

Shan said...

Bahhahaha! Grow Dee!!! And just when I was going to offer to homeschool your children! I'm going to have to pass now because I'm out of dirty diaper mode. Well, the diaper at least. A certain 5 year old that shall remain nameless, DID happen to soil his unds at school last week. Poor teacher=lucky me. teehee

Oh, false alarm on my "see you this Sunday" comment. I had the wrong day and it's just flat out not happening now. I'm all over it with the schedule thing aren't I? Oh well.

Jerri Dalrymple said...

ROFL!!!! Oh my gosh! I laughed so hard the kids had to come see what was going on!!! I hope you remember these days later when you will be able to laugh even harder at the memory (and possibly use it for blackmail??)!

Becoming Me said...

How funny!! Life with kids is sure messy. I'm glad I stumbled upon your blog...it put a huge smile on my face

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