Thursday, August 28, 2008

Blog. Check.

I have a love hate relationship with my to do list. I am schedule oriented almost to the point of, well, yes, probably to the point of OCD. I realized that I most likely had a problem when a friend called and wanted to have coffee one Sunday afternoon and asked me to bring my list as she thought that might help her. This is my friend who has been asked to speak many times on her struggles with OCD and the fact that she is on medication and under therapy for it along side her depression. Could they be cause and effect? I've often wondered that myself if I shouldn't be under therapy for many things rather than runny free in society. (no comments)

Allen has long poked fun of me about it, and has hidden my timer many times just to watch me panic. This is a cause of great stress at times when the kids or babies do not follow my schedule. I get frustrated with the house, but I can't stop to sweep the kitchen because we were suppose to be working in Zone 3, not zone 1! God has perfect order in the planets, the seasons the days, so it's ok to strive for order. However, I want to be a fly by the seat of my pants most days and it is so much funner when we can just do and be. But how do I accomplish school and all the tasks that need completed without some sort of direction?

One of the ways I like to wind down at night while Allen is watching Reno 911, Scrubs or something equally entertaining, is I love to tweak my schedule and write lists and read through Mangers of their Home or some organizing book. It's a sickness. We have a kid of the day. There is a list for who's turn it is to go with Daddy next, who goes with mommy next (one on one time) 60 days of menus, who name it there is a list for it. The kids know what section 1, 2, 3 and 4 are in each room. Brian even asked me the other day "What does the list say we are having for snack time?" So now the littles are getting sucked in.

More importantly than the current task in the current time frame, is the relationship and why the task is on the list to begin with. I've had to revise my thought process and the wording on my schedule for reminder of that. There is a book, Professionalizing Motherhood that I would like to recommend if you need help scheduling or would like to see the heart matters of doing so. She talks about not just writing "dishes" on the schedule but writing "wash the dishes so we have clean dishes to enjoy a meal together on." It makes everything appear in a whole new light. Giving softness to my rigidness. Teaching rather than telling.

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