Friday, September 12, 2008

Do not fret

But oh how easy it is to say. I woke this morning still sick to the pit of my stomach over a situation that has arisen that is breaking my heart, putting my character on trial and hurting others. I do not understand why this has come upon my life, but it is here. So what now? I feel so void. If I have ever given the impression that just because I post what I'm learning when I'm reading through the Bible that it means I have perfected that area of my life, then forgive me. Most of the time I can post because I feel I have so far to go. I often go back and reread my own notes and think, "Did I write that? I don't remember writing that" or read something that I really needed to hear. I have long prayed that my words would glorify Him and that He would use me. That only He would be glorified. I pray for wisdom, but any wisdom I appear to have is only Him.

I read and study and share because I need Him and His grace so deeply in my life. I share all my shortcomings and failures openly as they will be brought to light someday none the less. I am my own worst judge and enemy.

As I mentioned, Psalms 57 would be my next Chapter to study through. This morning I didn't even want to study it. I thought I would come on here this morning and say that I planned to close my blog as while it has brought me great joy, and I only started it as a way to have a permanent location for my notes and thoughts, and for friends and family to occasionally peek in on us, I never thought anyone would care to read it. However, my words have recently brought pain to others. Maybe this is why Proverbs tells us that a man of many friends comes to ruin and that an incessant talker is a fool. Maybe this is why Titus tells us to not be busybodies and be keepers of the home.

So after many sleepless nights from prayer and confusion, add to that a baby with another ear infection, I sat down and opened my Bible this morning and read through the chapter, studied some commentaries and wrote my notes in my paper journal.

The very 1st verse starts with "Do not fret..." Is that what you Bible says? Probably not, because even though I have a bookmark in Psalms to save my place, it had fallen out and I read through, studied and read through Psalms 37. In my barely enough coffee in my body to start the day mode, and since I didn't pull out my list, had 37 in my mind for some reason. These were the first words I read. "Do not fret...." Maybe it wasn't just a pure mistake. Maybe it was in intentional leading. Isn't that what all of life is. Intentional by Him?

Lord forgive me for forgetting once again that you are bigger than any of my problems. Help me to give this completely over to you and obey you and not fret over this conflict.

And what Psalms 57 really says is "Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed." So that is where I'll be, to find rest.

4 comments:

Shan said...

Oh goodness Suzanne. I'm sorry you feel like your words have given the wrong impression. I have been lazy on my comments but I want to encourage you and say that I never feel like you are coming across as judgmental to others in your spiritual posts.

I for one am either challenged or inspired by them and I very much appreciate the way you see God working in your life amid all of the everyday strife that comes along with it.

I feel like anytime one tries to share what the Lord is saying to them, Satan also perks up and decides to whisper conflicting ideas in our ears to throw us off our goals and our growth. I never fail to feel his negative presence when I begin a meaningful Bible study or actively seek a closer relationship to the Lord. Thank the heavens HE is the prevailing force though and we can always get His wisdom when we seek it.

Glad you are hanging in there! Blessings to you, and keep up the great increasing insight! He is using you! :D

Sun-Kissed Savages said...

God is in control. The truth will prevail. May everything be brought into the light.
Do not shut down your blog. None of us should.
And do not fret. Wise words indeed.

Elizabeth said...

I've been having a few issues leaving comments, but I'm sorry you are going through whatever it is that you are going through. You've never offended me by your words. In my humble opinion our blog is where we can voice our thoughts, our trial, our rejoicings. We should be able to write as our heart sees fit. I unfortunately cannot take my own opinion however because there is a certain person that reads my blog (unwantingly) and takes all I write and twists it around to mean bad things, so I have to guard all of my writings and thoughts. So, I suppose that my opinion means very little as I cannot even do it myself but I still feel very strongly about that. People shouldn't take offense unless you are specifically offending that person. Everyone has differing opinions and each should have the right to give their own "side".

I will say a prayer for you today my friend...

Tab said...

XOXOXOX

I'm tellin' ya...it's the Lord shaking the Bride. He's showing us all the ugly in our hearts and testing us to see how we are going to respond and IF we're going to run to Him for restoration. I hate it when He shows me how needy I am :(

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