Friday, January 02, 2009

The Story of Us

I couldn't sleep last night...ongoing problem. But last night as I lay there tossing and turning I thought I'd share the Allen and Suzanne story and the reasons why I love this man.

11 1/2 years ago I worked in Kansas City as a professional Claims Adjuster secretary by day and a cocktail waitress by night at Dick Clarks American Bandstand. When I look back, that year at the Bandstand was one of the funnest year of my life. There was a story every night.

I was waitressing one night and Allen was at the bar. I told one of the other waitresses that I thought he kept looking at me. Sure enough, as I walked by he stopped me and asked me out and gave me his business card. Now mind you, I used to be a thinner little thing, not a heavy girl, and being friendly and cute got me asked out quite often. However, I had just ended a terrible ongoing relationship 3 days prior and was not looking for anyone again...ever. I didn't want to embarrass this handsome smiling young man in front of his friends and as with a lot of the guys that came in, the liquid courage was usually was talking. I rarely saw the same out-of-towners return, only the regulars in the club. So I took the card and he wrote down his hotel room and number and I told him I would call him the next evening and we would go out. When asked for my number I would give out the number to the movie theater listings.

I didn't call him. I also didn't work on Tuesday night. So Wednesday night when I did work, you can imagine my surpriese to see him back in the restaurant. I avoided him all night but we just kept catching eye contact. Well those of you who know Allen, know that he can be rather loud and maybe a little obnoxious. So the other servers and I coined him, "The Drunk Guy". Come to find out, he wasn't really drunk, he just acts that way all the time.

Now a young high school girl was their server than night and she kept telling me how nice he seemed, so I finally went to talk with him and apologize for standing him up and he asked me out again. I told him that I didn't work Friday that he could meet me at the restaurant at 5:00pm and we could go to supper.

So Thursday I did my research, after all, he was from out of town, what if he was married like the Car Rental guy? What if he was crazy, like the Mothership guy? What if he was mean like the X Guy? I called the number on his business card and quizzed his secretary about him. Then looked up on the Internet for any red flags for arrests and such. Then when he came to pick me up I had a friend right down his license plate.

We went to an Irish pub, O'Dowd's down on the plaza. We got along great and when he held my hand, my heart literally ached with pain for the chemistry I felt between us. I knew by the end of the night that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. However, as he dropped me off at the club and started his 4 hour trip back to Arkansas I realized that I would probably never see him again and wondered why I had even bothered opening myself up.

I was wrong, on Monday he called and he called everyday there after early in the morning before work and late night night after my shifts. While we lived apart, he still drove to KC to see me at least once a month. We spent hours and hundreds of dollars on phone bills, talked about every aspect of life. 8 months later I moved to North West Arkansa with him. Now this is not the ideal love story to share with kids as to where to meet your mate or the lifestyle to live, but it is our story.

4 months later he proposed at Mary Maestri's in Tonitown on the anniversary of our 1st date. He had a dozen red roses waiting on our table and everyone in the restaurant get to witness him get down on his knee.

We got married at a beautiful bed and breakfast in my hometown 3 months later. We had been planning on a wedding, however we also wanted to buy a house and choose to give everyone a days notice and get married and forego and expensive celebration. It was perfect.

This is my neice Maggie, she was my flower girl of sorts. These were the only 2 pictures I have scanned into the computer, it was pre digital camera days.

And here we are 10 years and 4 kids later. Our lives have changed greatly and I know that Allen was my night in shining armour to save me from a lifestyle that was not to be desired.

I was reading in Intimate Allies and found this quote and it really bothered me about me. "Love changes the human heart. If the person you love has not changed-that is, if the person has not grown more tender -than it is a clear indication you have not loved that person. Love changes a person-always. The status quo-life today as it was, relationship as it always has been-indicates a failure of love." Ouch. There has been change. Some of you know that a year ago, I didn't think we were going to make it at all, and life is completely different this year. He has softened immensely. But if I want him to grow and change in other areas than I have to up my game and love him deeper in a way that his love language is being met. For the reason of self gain? No. Because I know how it hurts when my love language isn't spoken and I don't want him to feel that way.

Since I give Allen a lot of grief I thought I would also bless him with some of the reasons I do love him in no specific order:

-He can fix almost anything.
-He is super human strong.
-He has the smoothly skin and softest lips.
-He is super human tough-he has yanked a 3-prong fish hook out of his thumb, did minor surgery in our kitchen on his arm, and not been to the ER more times when most people would have taken an ambulance there.
-He loves his family.
-He like sports but is not a fanatic.
-His favorite place is home. He doesn't have to go out for a guy night once a week.
-He is a mannly man, while housework isn't his thing, he does all that other stuff I don't like that requires me to get dirty or sweaty.
-He is always helpful to my parents.
-He would give the shirt off his back to anyone who needed help.
-He is very loyal to his friends.
-He is very loyal to me.
-He is very supportive of me and encourages me with all my ventures.
-He has only said intentionally hurtful things when he was angry a handful of times ever in the past 10 years.
-He brags on me to others.
-He makes me feel safe.
-While he loves being an outdoorsman, he doesn't go as often as he would like to keep the balance.
-While he will have the occasional beer, he never has too much.
-He is a lot of fun. We laugh a lot and give each other a lot of grief.
-He wrestles with the kids.
-He surprised me at Christmas with 12 card and 12 gifts for the 12 days of Christmas.
-He surprised me at Valentines with a babysitter and took me overnight to Eureka Springs.
-He takes the girls to the Daddy Daughter Dance.
-He surprised me with an orchid for Valentines Day because "they are rare and so is our love".
-He is teaching Brian how to be a manly man-hunt, fish, and follow in daddy's footsteps and work with glass.
-He cooks a great breakfast and venison.
-He is not needy or picky unless he's grumpy which is rarely. But I guess I should be thankful that he feels comfortable enough to vent on me as that means he doesn't think I'm going anywhere.
-He tells me all the time that I'm beautiful.
-He seems to think I'm capable of anything.
-He thinks I'm a great cook.
-He Makes the kids obey me and respect me when he's around.
-He rarely has opposed me in front of the kids.
-He handles my insanity quite well.
-When we saw the Titanic, the love between Jack and Rose was what we share. Intense and above understanding. It was God's perfect plan for us.
-He still makes my heart skip.
-He blessed me with a gift last night that was for Christmas, Birthday and Christmas-monetary-to use for whatever I wanted. :)
-I'm sure I could list a thousand more, but the kids are straggling in and starving to death.


Mrs Smiley Joe said...

I LOVE this post!!!!!!! I love your story!!!!! Thank you for sharing with us!!!!

Sun-Kissed Savages said...

WOW-- that is A LOT to be thankful for!! :-)

There is something special in you that reaches the something-special in him.

Lynn said...

I love your story. It sounds like you really are meant to be together. Your tribute to him was one of the most touching things I've ever read. You both are blessed....


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