We had a delicious honeydew for snack time yesterday.
Gabby: Mom I love these!
Me: It IS good isn't it.
Gabby: I like the orange ones too. Next time will you get one of those?
Me: Sure.
Gabby to Brian: The green ones are called honeydew and the orange ones are called Mountian dew.
Me to myself: or cantaloupe
Just a woman in it for the long haul of marriage, gaining humility thru this parenting gig and slinging hope and humor to those around me.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Blog. Check.
I have a love hate relationship with my to do list. I am schedule oriented almost to the point of, well, yes, probably to the point of OCD. I realized that I most likely had a problem when a friend called and wanted to have coffee one Sunday afternoon and asked me to bring my list as she thought that might help her. This is my friend who has been asked to speak many times on her struggles with OCD and the fact that she is on medication and under therapy for it along side her depression. Could they be cause and effect? I've often wondered that myself if I shouldn't be under therapy for many things rather than runny free in society. (no comments)
Allen has long poked fun of me about it, and has hidden my timer many times just to watch me panic. This is a cause of great stress at times when the kids or babies do not follow my schedule. I get frustrated with the house, but I can't stop to sweep the kitchen because we were suppose to be working in Zone 3, not zone 1! God has perfect order in the planets, the seasons the days, so it's ok to strive for order. However, I want to be a fly by the seat of my pants most days and it is so much funner when we can just do and be. But how do I accomplish school and all the tasks that need completed without some sort of direction?
One of the ways I like to wind down at night while Allen is watching Reno 911, Scrubs or something equally entertaining, is I love to tweak my schedule and write lists and read through Mangers of their Home or some organizing book. It's a sickness. We have a kid of the day. There is a list for who's turn it is to go with Daddy next, who goes with mommy next (one on one time) 60 days of menus, who name it there is a list for it. The kids know what section 1, 2, 3 and 4 are in each room. Brian even asked me the other day "What does the list say we are having for snack time?" So now the littles are getting sucked in.
More importantly than the current task in the current time frame, is the relationship and why the task is on the list to begin with. I've had to revise my thought process and the wording on my schedule for reminder of that. There is a book, Professionalizing Motherhood that I would like to recommend if you need help scheduling or would like to see the heart matters of doing so. She talks about not just writing "dishes" on the schedule but writing "wash the dishes so we have clean dishes to enjoy a meal together on." It makes everything appear in a whole new light. Giving softness to my rigidness. Teaching rather than telling.
Allen has long poked fun of me about it, and has hidden my timer many times just to watch me panic. This is a cause of great stress at times when the kids or babies do not follow my schedule. I get frustrated with the house, but I can't stop to sweep the kitchen because we were suppose to be working in Zone 3, not zone 1! God has perfect order in the planets, the seasons the days, so it's ok to strive for order. However, I want to be a fly by the seat of my pants most days and it is so much funner when we can just do and be. But how do I accomplish school and all the tasks that need completed without some sort of direction?
One of the ways I like to wind down at night while Allen is watching Reno 911, Scrubs or something equally entertaining, is I love to tweak my schedule and write lists and read through Mangers of their Home or some organizing book. It's a sickness. We have a kid of the day. There is a list for who's turn it is to go with Daddy next, who goes with mommy next (one on one time) 60 days of menus, who name it there is a list for it. The kids know what section 1, 2, 3 and 4 are in each room. Brian even asked me the other day "What does the list say we are having for snack time?" So now the littles are getting sucked in.
More importantly than the current task in the current time frame, is the relationship and why the task is on the list to begin with. I've had to revise my thought process and the wording on my schedule for reminder of that. There is a book, Professionalizing Motherhood that I would like to recommend if you need help scheduling or would like to see the heart matters of doing so. She talks about not just writing "dishes" on the schedule but writing "wash the dishes so we have clean dishes to enjoy a meal together on." It makes everything appear in a whole new light. Giving softness to my rigidness. Teaching rather than telling.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Invasion of the Bodily Functions
Besides the torrential downpour of rain, all went well with the yard sale, so that project is finished. Stamp club was a lot of fun this past time, I'll post pictures this week.
So this last week was not short on the gross factor.
I was changing Wyatt's diaper, which this child would rather be dirty than lay long enough to politely get his bottom freshened. He was stinkin up the place and when I went to change him, here's his own personal audience of Brian, "I just want to see how much he pooped." Sure why not, chalk that up to a science experiment and hopefully future reference for when you will graciously change your own kids diaper to help your precious wife. Or maybe on your way to being a proctologist. I pull the diaper off and start feverishly wiping this greased pig that is squealing in protest. Brian is dying laughing and I smart off, "If you think it's so funny, you finish wiping him." "OK!" Of course. So now Brian is wiping and still laughing. I tell him, "Brian you have to clean his cheeks off too, not just the crack." Brian is still laughing, but pauses to look at Wyatt then using the same wipe, cleans off the side of Wyatt's face. "BRIAN! STOP IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Now sober..."you told me to clean his cheeks."
Makensie asked me touch under her arms, after I did, she told me to smell my fingers that she thought her underarms stank. And sure enough, they did.
Then at bath time, I sat down on the mini chair and it was soaking wet. "Gabby, are you suppose to splash in the tub?" "No. I didn't." Thinking, "ok, so... someone must have gotten out of the tub after they were wet or Wyatt splashed." Nope. Gabby informs me, "Wyatt peed on the chair when he was getting in the tub." And it didn't cross your mind to warn me before I sat down??!
So this last week was not short on the gross factor.
I was changing Wyatt's diaper, which this child would rather be dirty than lay long enough to politely get his bottom freshened. He was stinkin up the place and when I went to change him, here's his own personal audience of Brian, "I just want to see how much he pooped." Sure why not, chalk that up to a science experiment and hopefully future reference for when you will graciously change your own kids diaper to help your precious wife. Or maybe on your way to being a proctologist. I pull the diaper off and start feverishly wiping this greased pig that is squealing in protest. Brian is dying laughing and I smart off, "If you think it's so funny, you finish wiping him." "OK!" Of course. So now Brian is wiping and still laughing. I tell him, "Brian you have to clean his cheeks off too, not just the crack." Brian is still laughing, but pauses to look at Wyatt then using the same wipe, cleans off the side of Wyatt's face. "BRIAN! STOP IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Now sober..."you told me to clean his cheeks."
Makensie asked me touch under her arms, after I did, she told me to smell my fingers that she thought her underarms stank. And sure enough, they did.
Then at bath time, I sat down on the mini chair and it was soaking wet. "Gabby, are you suppose to splash in the tub?" "No. I didn't." Thinking, "ok, so... someone must have gotten out of the tub after they were wet or Wyatt splashed." Nope. Gabby informs me, "Wyatt peed on the chair when he was getting in the tub." And it didn't cross your mind to warn me before I sat down??!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Spiritual Appetite
After the post yesterday, wanted to follow up on the stoning of the rebellious child and let you know, no children were harmed in the making of that post. And the Jewish tradition claims that the law was never enforced. But God did still state it as a law all the same. God took sin very seriously. And we should do the same.
As those of you who know me, I'm struggling with my weight. But in all honesty it's not my weight that really is a problem, it's my self-control. My weight is just my sin being brought to light. It is the internal character flaws that can no long be hidden because they manifest themselves physically in weight gain. I'm no longer 20, no longer physically active unless it counts that I eat lunch over the sink and chase 4 kids all day. I do not take the time to track my calories, do not spend the money to buy the healthiest foods.
I read that someone that is a glutton in one area is usually out of control in other areas as well. Well, yes. I am a little out of balance in my homemaking...although making great strides as I'm purging like crazy and came across Large Family Logistics and Keeping the Home. I'm a little out of balance in my patience, although making changes of keeping my kids close by, (Raising Godly Tomatoes) has truly changed my perspective. I'm sure there are many more but I'm getting depressed. So that's enough for now. So my next area to find that internally self control and get aligned is my health choices. It's not a one time decision, it's a 4-5 times a day decision. One that we can't just go cold turkey and avoid altogether. But have to face often, daily, for life.
In Deuteronomy one of the words to describe the rebellious child was profligate which when used in Proverbs meant Glutton. This child was given to gluttony of self and his happiness. Obesity comes on in the same way as an alcoholism. One bite or drink at a time.
The offense here is still the rebellion. But it makes sense why gluttony is on the list of the 7 deadly sins. Gluttony can be a symptom or even the cause of other sins in our lives.
As those of you who know me, I'm struggling with my weight. But in all honesty it's not my weight that really is a problem, it's my self-control. My weight is just my sin being brought to light. It is the internal character flaws that can no long be hidden because they manifest themselves physically in weight gain. I'm no longer 20, no longer physically active unless it counts that I eat lunch over the sink and chase 4 kids all day. I do not take the time to track my calories, do not spend the money to buy the healthiest foods.
I read that someone that is a glutton in one area is usually out of control in other areas as well. Well, yes. I am a little out of balance in my homemaking...although making great strides as I'm purging like crazy and came across Large Family Logistics and Keeping the Home. I'm a little out of balance in my patience, although making changes of keeping my kids close by, (Raising Godly Tomatoes) has truly changed my perspective. I'm sure there are many more but I'm getting depressed. So that's enough for now. So my next area to find that internally self control and get aligned is my health choices. It's not a one time decision, it's a 4-5 times a day decision. One that we can't just go cold turkey and avoid altogether. But have to face often, daily, for life.
In Deuteronomy one of the words to describe the rebellious child was profligate which when used in Proverbs meant Glutton. This child was given to gluttony of self and his happiness. Obesity comes on in the same way as an alcoholism. One bite or drink at a time.
The offense here is still the rebellion. But it makes sense why gluttony is on the list of the 7 deadly sins. Gluttony can be a symptom or even the cause of other sins in our lives.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Moses says what?
What? Have I never read this before? This is just crazy talk.
I just finished reading Deut 21 and have some brand new arrsonal to quote for the rebellious child. vs 18-23 (shorten for attention spans of course) "If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother...they shall take him to the elders a the city gate...and all the men shall stone him to death." Silly me! And here I was feeling like the "meanist mom in the whole world" yesterday for making Brian stand with his arms in the air for time out to get his attention. After he informed me of my new title, he went on to say, "no other mom ever would be this mean and make her kids do this. If you had other kids they would call you chubby for being so mean." I had to leave the room to laugh at this one. Of course making his time even longer. So now that I know it used to be Mosaic law to be stoned for rebellion, well that just takes it to a whole notha level.
I just finished reading Deut 21 and have some brand new arrsonal to quote for the rebellious child. vs 18-23 (shorten for attention spans of course) "If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother...they shall take him to the elders a the city gate...and all the men shall stone him to death." Silly me! And here I was feeling like the "meanist mom in the whole world" yesterday for making Brian stand with his arms in the air for time out to get his attention. After he informed me of my new title, he went on to say, "no other mom ever would be this mean and make her kids do this. If you had other kids they would call you chubby for being so mean." I had to leave the room to laugh at this one. Of course making his time even longer. So now that I know it used to be Mosaic law to be stoned for rebellion, well that just takes it to a whole notha level.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
My Hero!
Here is Brian and his BFF, just a couple of weeks ago, not Halloween. Grandma has blessed him with 6 Spiderman and 1 Hulk outfits she picked up at a sale. It has been a great thing and almost a uniform of sorts for him. I can't help but wonder what passerbyers and the neighbor's think of the people who live "there" with the kid always in the Spiderman outfit.


(Don't be frightened by the dishes in the background, they are part of the kitchen's decorations)
And here they go, trekking to the front yard to save the world.
Brian came into the house rubbing his hands together, "My hands are just sticky enough that I can climb clear to the top of the van! Just like Spiderman!"
Luckily, he later washed the van...using my mop.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Could It Really Be That Easy?
In the book of Acts 3, there is the story of the crippled man that Peter and John tell to get up and walk. I just sat stunned after I read this story this time. Really? It was that easy?
The man had a condition.
The others had compassion.
They voiced confession of Christ and his power to heal.
The man had completeness.
Peter and John didn't lay hands, spend hours in prayer, lighting candles, nothing. It was almost like saying hello. Do we not have the same power of the Holy Spirit in us today as they did then? So does that mean we do not have the same amount of miracles today as they did then because of a lack of faith or unbelief?
The man had a condition.
The others had compassion.
They voiced confession of Christ and his power to heal.
The man had completeness.
Peter and John didn't lay hands, spend hours in prayer, lighting candles, nothing. It was almost like saying hello. Do we not have the same power of the Holy Spirit in us today as they did then? So does that mean we do not have the same amount of miracles today as they did then because of a lack of faith or unbelief?
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
There's A Plank In My Eye
In this Chapter of John, the people brought a woman that had committed adultery to be stoned (and just where was the man involved I would like to know!?). I love how Jesus so gently saved her life "Let he that is without sin cast the 1st stone." (John 8:7) Then gently told her to turn from her ways and go. No long sermon to her telling her all the reasons adultery was wrong, didn't yell, "Why did you do this? You knew it was wrong?! How long has this been going on? How could you do this to your Father? You should be grateful that I didn't stone you myself. If I ever catch you again there will be trouble." He didn't so much as sound condescending to her, no judgement, just "go and do the right thing," filled with love towards her. I would love to know what it was that Jesus was writing in the sand.
The pharisees of the land knew the laws of the Bible; and knew them well. But with all this knowledge pride consumed their hearts. They knew how to pray elegant prayers and have divine inspiration from the Lord, but they did not know how to give grace. Each time they confronted Jesus they weren't listening to his heart, instead they searched for what He would say or do that they would not understand so they would have a reason to stone Him.
The kids and I are currently going through a study by doorposts, The Brother Offended. I needed to know how to cut down on the tattling, as it only seemed to bring more distance. Me being judge and trying to help them work things through, trying to be 100% fair as often as possible seemed to make it worse. (I'm telling you, I have no idea what I'm doing.)
One of the sections is to help discover the plank in our own eye. Are we easily provoked? easily offended? Are you loving deeply to cover the sin? Are we being honorable to forgive and forget a wrong? Are we only looking at our own best interest? Do we have an attitude of Christ? Are we devoted to put others above ourselves? Are we repaying evil with evil? Only confronting to bring justice to ourselves? Are you overcoming evil with good? Lots of hard questions.
The splinter in a brothers eye may be painful, something he is struggling to remove, distracting him from life. Yet how often do we come barging in the room with a plank sticking out our own eye as if coming to the rescue? The plank knocking over lamps, hitting our brother in the head, all the while we insist on "helping them". Telling him what he ought to do, how he needs to do it. As we are filled with our sense of spiritual superiority. How can we see the small sin accurately in someone else's life and give instructions when we have sin in our own lives?
Gabby accidentally kicked Brian in the eye Sunday night (they were on the trampoline) and he got a little black eye. I looked into his eye, but all that I could see looked good. But to be honest, I didn't really know what I was looking for...basically for there just to be an eye. When we went to the Optometrist the next day, she was the expert, she had special machines and training. All was fine. Those little vessels I was concerned about, were nothing. I was other exaggerating what they might mean. The expert who can identify and convict of sins is Christ. satan is the father of lies, he loves to provoke us, Not us.
Several years ago, I was really struggling with a hurt that someone had wronged me with. It kept me up at night, mauling over the thought, repeating the words and the scenario. We are talking several months after the fact. You would have thought I had just found out I was dying. I didn't know whether to defend myself? Say something? I wanted them to know just how much I was hurt. One night in the early morning hours I woke crying and praying for God to touch the situation, help me. I felt almost shaken as the thought came over me "Let it go. It doesn't matter. Someday they will know the hurt they caused because I will deal with it. And just as they will know in Heaven, when you get to Heaven, it won't matter any longer." I felt so much release. A little chastised maybe. But convicted at that point, that it really doesn't matter. And that situation has healed itself. Do I ever want to bring it up to them? No. I want to cover it in love and protect them from knowing they caused me pain. Does this mean that no one ever mistakenly says something or does something that hurts? No. Could I have gently went to my brother to confront them of the hurt they caused me? Yes. But, life is full of different interpretations, lack of understanding will happen. (I just wish I was better at doing this with my hubby and I'm sure he wishes so even more!)
When we as Christians disagree with each other, even in a situation where one is wrong, is a stone the answer? What if we are the one who is right? Don't we have the right to correct? Sure. But why and when should we? What of it will come? If it isn't an ongoing problem, are we only being blinded by our own self righteousness and will that in turn injure and cause damage? It happens with my kids. There are times that I know the heart of the child and know that what was done was not her heart. She is not characterized by one action. So is it for me to discourage her by pointing simple wrongs, rare mistakes? Not all wrongs are sinful. Some splinters aren't real, only perceived.
What do we do when those stones are thrown at us? We can stand up and yell and throw it back, or we can start gathering those stones to build a stronger house for the Lord. To be meek in return. To be gentle unto all men, to bear with love. Eph 4:2 Forbear one another in love with lowliness, meekness, and long suffering. And fortunately for you all, I take my vitamins, so you will have plenty of opportunities to practice your long suffering with me. :)
In the end, the man with a splinter of sin in his eye is accountable to God and only to God, never to us. Even if we are the one who was wronged. I pray for a heart that seeks Him. I pray for wisdom in encouraging others, I pray for forgives from those I have hurt, I pray in thanks for those who have covered my wrongs unbeknownst to me with their love.
We live in the land of political correctness and home of the proud. Surrounded by people with "rights", with access to therapy and books for every emotional hurt. But how often do we as Christians revert to scripture to find our paths? To grow in wisdom? To mature to be more Christlike? The Lord wrote this book to be relevant even for today.
The pharisees of the land knew the laws of the Bible; and knew them well. But with all this knowledge pride consumed their hearts. They knew how to pray elegant prayers and have divine inspiration from the Lord, but they did not know how to give grace. Each time they confronted Jesus they weren't listening to his heart, instead they searched for what He would say or do that they would not understand so they would have a reason to stone Him.
Why do we think that our own faults are not magnified when we try to judge others on their faults? Does not my brother get annoyed at me when I'm trying to instruct him? Does it not make him start thinking of all the things I do wrong? This judgement of Christ brought the pharisees sin of pride to light. Judge not lest you be judged. Matt 7:1
The kids and I are currently going through a study by doorposts, The Brother Offended. I needed to know how to cut down on the tattling, as it only seemed to bring more distance. Me being judge and trying to help them work things through, trying to be 100% fair as often as possible seemed to make it worse. (I'm telling you, I have no idea what I'm doing.)
One of the sections is to help discover the plank in our own eye. Are we easily provoked? easily offended? Are you loving deeply to cover the sin? Are we being honorable to forgive and forget a wrong? Are we only looking at our own best interest? Do we have an attitude of Christ? Are we devoted to put others above ourselves? Are we repaying evil with evil? Only confronting to bring justice to ourselves? Are you overcoming evil with good? Lots of hard questions.
The splinter in a brothers eye may be painful, something he is struggling to remove, distracting him from life. Yet how often do we come barging in the room with a plank sticking out our own eye as if coming to the rescue? The plank knocking over lamps, hitting our brother in the head, all the while we insist on "helping them". Telling him what he ought to do, how he needs to do it. As we are filled with our sense of spiritual superiority. How can we see the small sin accurately in someone else's life and give instructions when we have sin in our own lives?
Gabby accidentally kicked Brian in the eye Sunday night (they were on the trampoline) and he got a little black eye. I looked into his eye, but all that I could see looked good. But to be honest, I didn't really know what I was looking for...basically for there just to be an eye. When we went to the Optometrist the next day, she was the expert, she had special machines and training. All was fine. Those little vessels I was concerned about, were nothing. I was other exaggerating what they might mean. The expert who can identify and convict of sins is Christ. satan is the father of lies, he loves to provoke us, Not us.
Several years ago, I was really struggling with a hurt that someone had wronged me with. It kept me up at night, mauling over the thought, repeating the words and the scenario. We are talking several months after the fact. You would have thought I had just found out I was dying. I didn't know whether to defend myself? Say something? I wanted them to know just how much I was hurt. One night in the early morning hours I woke crying and praying for God to touch the situation, help me. I felt almost shaken as the thought came over me "Let it go. It doesn't matter. Someday they will know the hurt they caused because I will deal with it. And just as they will know in Heaven, when you get to Heaven, it won't matter any longer." I felt so much release. A little chastised maybe. But convicted at that point, that it really doesn't matter. And that situation has healed itself. Do I ever want to bring it up to them? No. I want to cover it in love and protect them from knowing they caused me pain. Does this mean that no one ever mistakenly says something or does something that hurts? No. Could I have gently went to my brother to confront them of the hurt they caused me? Yes. But, life is full of different interpretations, lack of understanding will happen. (I just wish I was better at doing this with my hubby and I'm sure he wishes so even more!)
When we as Christians disagree with each other, even in a situation where one is wrong, is a stone the answer? What if we are the one who is right? Don't we have the right to correct? Sure. But why and when should we? What of it will come? If it isn't an ongoing problem, are we only being blinded by our own self righteousness and will that in turn injure and cause damage? It happens with my kids. There are times that I know the heart of the child and know that what was done was not her heart. She is not characterized by one action. So is it for me to discourage her by pointing simple wrongs, rare mistakes? Not all wrongs are sinful. Some splinters aren't real, only perceived.
What do we do when those stones are thrown at us? We can stand up and yell and throw it back, or we can start gathering those stones to build a stronger house for the Lord. To be meek in return. To be gentle unto all men, to bear with love. Eph 4:2 Forbear one another in love with lowliness, meekness, and long suffering. And fortunately for you all, I take my vitamins, so you will have plenty of opportunities to practice your long suffering with me. :)
In the end, the man with a splinter of sin in his eye is accountable to God and only to God, never to us. Even if we are the one who was wronged. I pray for a heart that seeks Him. I pray for wisdom in encouraging others, I pray for forgives from those I have hurt, I pray in thanks for those who have covered my wrongs unbeknownst to me with their love.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
So how do you keep glasses on a 2 year old?
Yesterday morning was the annual eye dr appointment for the 4 kids. Not to be done again. Not only was the 2 1/2 hour ordeal longer than their patience, I also found myself more annoyed with the dr's assistant as she was condescending from the beginning. Which is why when she was later talking with another secretary about she didn't understand why her friend had avoided her all weekend, I wanted to pipe up, "because your people skills stink!" Ugh. I have just had a run in lately with too many people that I have no idea how they have made it this far in life without ever having someone throw the book, "How to win friends and influence people!" at their head. (This was not a suggestion from the book).
Ok, better now. So anyhow, Wyatt's is very farsighted, which explains the drunken stagger he has at times going down steps and the reason for him not quite rounding the corners without running right into things. The poor baby isn't clumsy, he just can't see well. We take him back in 6 months to have another look and see if there are any changes, but if no improvement, we are going to start him with glasses. I wasn't surprised as I'm pretty much legally blind myself, however I'm near sighted and was surprised to hear he was the opposite. Thank God for allowing us the technology for correcting our sight. Can you imagine back in the Bible days? I can't stand to not see. In fact, the night of the bad tornado here, we woke up to the sirens going off and rather than me running for the safety of the cubbie hole in an attempt to save my life, I ran to the kitchen for my purse to get my glasses.
Ok, better now. So anyhow, Wyatt's is very farsighted, which explains the drunken stagger he has at times going down steps and the reason for him not quite rounding the corners without running right into things. The poor baby isn't clumsy, he just can't see well. We take him back in 6 months to have another look and see if there are any changes, but if no improvement, we are going to start him with glasses. I wasn't surprised as I'm pretty much legally blind myself, however I'm near sighted and was surprised to hear he was the opposite. Thank God for allowing us the technology for correcting our sight. Can you imagine back in the Bible days? I can't stand to not see. In fact, the night of the bad tornado here, we woke up to the sirens going off and rather than me running for the safety of the cubbie hole in an attempt to save my life, I ran to the kitchen for my purse to get my glasses.
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Like Father Like Son
I had gone upstairs to do our monthly thorough cleaning of the playroom and kids rooms. They have been responsible for doing this themselves and I have to admit I had slacked greatly in doing complete room checks. Thinking they were old enough, they knew what was expected. Just quickly looking around for major problems when we were headed to bed, and would "get it clean tomorrow". So as mess attracts mess, it soon grew out of control and I just couldn't take it any longer. So 3 hours later we had completed the playroom and 1/2 of Makensie's room. The play room wasn't that bad, just some play kitchen food and a couple of books left on the floor...except for 3 large trash bags I found stashed in the closet. What do we have here? Oh wonderful. It's everything that had been on the floor when Gabby had to clean her room last week. This child of mine is a bigger pack rat than me. She has the same, "but I might be able to use that somewhere someday" syndrome. And since she was at Grandma's this week, I was able to purge some items I've seen her digging out of the trash in times before. There were those plastic Easter Eggs you fill, broken crayons (because we don't have enough already?), empty lip gloss containers, every single picture she has colored out of coloring books, about 100 fashion plate dolls on dozen of now crumpled up papers, clean clothes, dirty clothes, shoes, Polly pockets, shells, rocks, her hanging light, part of her wall shelf, (were you redecorating?) empty cups, 3 pair of scissors (and yet you never know where my scissors have gone), notebooks, barbies, some of Brian's Hot Wheels, and about 20 hangers. I love this artistic little thing so much. She would much rather be coloring or creating than cleaning, and who wouldn't?
Makensie's room wasn't so great. In in the words of Brian, "This place is a dump!" Makensie obviously offended says, "That's not very nice." Brian explains, "Well, I have to act like daddy for 7 days so I can get my Griffin Glass stuff back." Nice, and yet I have hopes that my kids will grow to be civil with Allen as their dad? (Prov 10:5-he was lazy with something and was stripped of something that he was proud of). Makensie's vanity was covered in "special things", drawers full of outgrown clothes (am I the only one impressed with the tote in each closet to put clothes and toys in that you no longer want? I thought it was a great idea!) But this like quiet creature had been using underneath her bed as a 5th drawer and the alcoves and bottoms of her closets to acquire her dirty laundry. (Don't worry, we can use that hamper as a vase! Don't we all gather ALL our dirty clothes and All our hangers EVERYDAY?) It's on the room chores schedule and I remind them all and see them all bringing armfuls to the laundry room. Why bring some and not all? Why take a shirt off the hanger and leave it hanging? To get to know the other lonely hangers already left behind?
I just don't understand how they can make as big of messes as they do with the little amount of time they spend upstairs. Our next home will be all one level. From the time they get up they come downstairs. They drag some toys with them and they want to be in the kitchen at the counter, or table...close range of momma. While tiring at times and I've heard myself saying many times over..."Why don't you go play in your rooms? Don't you like your toys? Do you know how lucky you are to have your own room and a playroom?" And off they head for, 20 minutes? Then quilt sinks in for me scurrying them off. We have a nice schedule going so they don't have free time all day long and we have quiet time for them to be alone.
I just have to be more disciplined to check daily as to whether the clean laundry was put away, or dropped on the floor at the foot of the bed, if the clothes were hung up or just put in the closet. I don't like discipline, but enjoy new consequences. I have long said that proverbs has most the answers in the Bible for ways to discipline that are rememberable. So...Pro 13:4, we have a "Buy Back Box". For each chore the kids complete they earn 1-3 rocks. Empty Dishwasher: 3, take out the recycling: 1, etc. Each time I pick up something of theirs, if it is damaged from lack of care, I charge them a rock and toss it. If it is still in good condition, I fine them a rock for me picking it up and they have to buy it from me (with a rock). Know what I found? Most of the items that go into the BBB never leave. They just are worth the rock to get them back, so once the box is full it moves to the yard sale corner. I need to be better at rewarding good character rather than just correcting the poor. So my goal is to take better notes and make sure that our Family Feast is one full of rewards and recognition for what good did come. Also Prov 13:4.
I am so thankful that in spite of all my mistakes, my kids would rather sit playing at my feet to be close than choose to hide out in their rooms by themselves.
Makensie's room wasn't so great. In in the words of Brian, "This place is a dump!" Makensie obviously offended says, "That's not very nice." Brian explains, "Well, I have to act like daddy for 7 days so I can get my Griffin Glass stuff back." Nice, and yet I have hopes that my kids will grow to be civil with Allen as their dad? (Prov 10:5-he was lazy with something and was stripped of something that he was proud of). Makensie's vanity was covered in "special things", drawers full of outgrown clothes (am I the only one impressed with the tote in each closet to put clothes and toys in that you no longer want? I thought it was a great idea!) But this like quiet creature had been using underneath her bed as a 5th drawer and the alcoves and bottoms of her closets to acquire her dirty laundry. (Don't worry, we can use that hamper as a vase! Don't we all gather ALL our dirty clothes and All our hangers EVERYDAY?) It's on the room chores schedule and I remind them all and see them all bringing armfuls to the laundry room. Why bring some and not all? Why take a shirt off the hanger and leave it hanging? To get to know the other lonely hangers already left behind?
I just don't understand how they can make as big of messes as they do with the little amount of time they spend upstairs. Our next home will be all one level. From the time they get up they come downstairs. They drag some toys with them and they want to be in the kitchen at the counter, or table...close range of momma. While tiring at times and I've heard myself saying many times over..."Why don't you go play in your rooms? Don't you like your toys? Do you know how lucky you are to have your own room and a playroom?" And off they head for, 20 minutes? Then quilt sinks in for me scurrying them off. We have a nice schedule going so they don't have free time all day long and we have quiet time for them to be alone.
I just have to be more disciplined to check daily as to whether the clean laundry was put away, or dropped on the floor at the foot of the bed, if the clothes were hung up or just put in the closet. I don't like discipline, but enjoy new consequences. I have long said that proverbs has most the answers in the Bible for ways to discipline that are rememberable. So...Pro 13:4, we have a "Buy Back Box". For each chore the kids complete they earn 1-3 rocks. Empty Dishwasher: 3, take out the recycling: 1, etc. Each time I pick up something of theirs, if it is damaged from lack of care, I charge them a rock and toss it. If it is still in good condition, I fine them a rock for me picking it up and they have to buy it from me (with a rock). Know what I found? Most of the items that go into the BBB never leave. They just are worth the rock to get them back, so once the box is full it moves to the yard sale corner. I need to be better at rewarding good character rather than just correcting the poor. So my goal is to take better notes and make sure that our Family Feast is one full of rewards and recognition for what good did come. Also Prov 13:4.
I am so thankful that in spite of all my mistakes, my kids would rather sit playing at my feet to be close than choose to hide out in their rooms by themselves.
Friday, August 08, 2008
Ministry of Mediocrity
That's me.
Last night as after supper, as I was sweeping up what I'm sure was more food on the floor than what found it's way into the baby's belly, I caught a glimpse of the stack of paperwork waiting for me, the school papers not filed and the attendance sheets and logs from the day still waiting for me to fill out, laundry waiting to be folded, beds needing sheets put back on,...I was grateful to hear a program on Focus on the Family. I have to admit I was somewhat bored as it was on the something about the 1st year after having a baby is the hardest and the young mom was sharing her thoughts and talking about her book.
Not only disappointed thinking I may never finish my book, and when I do, will I personally be stuck with the 1999 of 2000 copies that don't sell? I disagreed somewhat with the mom...how hard is a baby that sleeps most of the time, is happily entertained in the playpen with a box and some Tupperware and gives you justification for not leaving the house, putting on makeup...or a bra, to have a messy house because you were too busy snuggling a newborn every second you could, use paper plates and the microwave meals, and being able to nap every afternoon? But that's just my thoughts now that my toddler is all over the place pulling out toys, not verbal enough to express himself in ways other than crying, whining, hitting...all of which are not only annoying, require little training sessions. Yesterday, I caught the monkey climbing on top of the coffee table than jumping onto the recliner.
But this mom said one line that changed my night. "The ministry of mediocrity. Women want to know they are not alone." THAT'S ME! That's what I have been doing for years. I think this is why I was asked to speak most times in the past because I'm really not any better than any other woman. My goal is to give hope that if I can do this, well, than just about anyone can. You will not be getting advise from me on how to make your own yogurt, with milk you collected from a goat, use cloth diapers that you hand sewed which were washed in homemade detergent. You won't hear me sharing how with 4 little ones and homeschooling and Allen's business that we make it through flylady's check list daily and House Beautiful called wants to do a spread. I just don't have it all together. I lack in patience at times and in wisdom how how to handle my kids, I get worn out and discouraged with my husband, our finances keep us on edge, I don't exercise daily, eat my suggested fruits and veggies or drink 8 glasses of water (can't fit it in with all the coffee).
And I was OK with the fact that I was no one special for some time. I used to live in a little bubble that thought everyone loved me and would be excited I showed up.
Do you watch the Olympics? I enjoy the high jump, watching it that is. Where they run and somehow catapult themselves over the bar, just barely making it, arching perfectly, then if they clear the bar, they land on the other side softly, with victory for all others just to try to make it to be on the high achievers side. I always cringe, covering my eyes and peeking through my fingers, don't know what good that does, but it seems to take the edge off, all the while gritting my teeth and thinking, they aren't going to make it....
In my own life I have an invisible bar. A bar I focus on far too often. If I read a book about all the wonderful things a home school mom does and should be doing, hear a Christian program on how an amazing wife treats her hubby, or find out that one mom grinds from wheat and makes her own bread, another mom has the gift of hospitality and blesses others often. I have a knack for grabbing hold of the things others do best and wanting to smash them all into my own resume. Then suddenly it seemed as if my bar were no longer a goal only a couple of inches higher, and that if I could just s-t-r-e-t-c-h, a little, m-o-r-e...but that one day I woke up and felt a hopelessness that the jump would be impossible for me to ever make. It was just too high. Who raised the bar that high? Honestly, it was not that someone raised it a couple of feet all at one time, but rather it was my lack of focus. While sitting complacent on the sidelines waiting my turn to jump, I got sidetracked with the fans, the 1/2 time show, the concessions, other competitors, decided to wander around and tryout a couple other events just to see. I had missed my turns. Then when I got back in line, I realized I was not ready to jump, I hadn't been practicing, I had grown complacent with my abilities. I had only shown up to compete and would be going home in defeat.
There is a difference between being mediocre and complacent.
There is a wide range of mediocrity. And that definition of what is average changes in the circle of life you find yourself in. When I'm surround by new moms, I'm considered an expert jumper, I've been there and lived through it 4 times now. When I'm among my peers and close friends I'm in the mediocre stage. Most of us are practicing on the same bar height. And then there are "those women". Those ladies that we come in contact with that seem to have a natural talent for getting it all done, have wisdom flowing from every word, terrific kids, beautiful homes, being all things and lacking in nothing (at least from the windows I'm peeking through). These are the ladies most of us other mediocre moms run to for coaching, look up to. We are inspired and awestruck with the talents they have which we are tyring to attain ourselves.
But then it happens, we start to compare ourselves. Without any thought of how far we've come, without any thought of their natural gifts. And the pendulum swings from complacency to self condemnation. We are called to only have to answer to our Father as the judge, yet we often as women take on that role to judge ourselves far too harshly. Condemnation comes from satan. Is it written how quickly we are suppose to have it all together? What of the woman who is a new jumper for Christ? Is her bar to be as high as a older woman? Is she to be judged and criticized for not having a natural talent to jump easily and as high as others who have been practicing as long? Is she not of value because it takes her longer to get to the bar?
The object of the high jump is to approach the bar, jump and get the body over the bar starting with the arms and head followed by the rest, clearing the bar.
So how in the world do we clear the bar? Run head straight at it as fast as we can? If we do, the law of physics says we will go straight up and the law of gravity says we will come straight back down. Do we run from an angle, coming along side as fast as possible? Almost trying to sneak up on and trick the bar? If we do manage to clear the bar, we'll miss our landing, on the mat landing is also a good goal. Did you know however, that the plan to get over the bar is not by focusing on the bar and trying to jump over it, but by turning your back square to the bar and concentrating on the preparation and to jump up?
The jumper runs at the bar at a 45' angle, giving him a full view of his goal. The approach speed in individualized. There is no such thing as the perfect speed. Some will run quickly, some slowly with a bounce, but none at their full speed, otherwise their gather will be ineffective. Then just as he is approaching he curves his approach and gathers the body, crouching and digging into his strength, in anticipation of the jump. He plants his feet and pivots his foot. If he plants too soon, he will go under the bar. This helps the body rotate, turning his back to the bar and gives momentum which will carry the body over the bar and onto the mat. The jumper doesn't have to worry about jumping over the bar, the body is going to go that way no matter what because the approach he took. With the correct foot work, all the jumper has to worry about is jumping vertically. The body will sail over and the jumper kicks up his heals for the final clear and then brings him down safely on the mat. Now he is ready and able to start training for the next higher jump.
When we concentrate our efforts not on trying to be great moms, but rather to be consistent in training our kids. Do not focus on a clean home but on being a good steward of our possessions. Not looking to be the star, but focusing our efforts to do all we can to jump vertically towards God, then the preparations we've made thrust us over.
And where do you start training? By Picking up a pole and going for it? Only if you like the flat landing approach. Little steps, little hops at a time. We may feel silly and self-conscious as we are hopping around just trying to catch our rhythm, to get a feel for what it is we are suppose to be doing. But without the proper foot work there is no successful jump. At first we must keep the bar low, just a little higher than the mat, landing on the bar under your shoulder blades for the 1st couple of times of failure can really hurt and discourage a potential star.
It is within each defeat that we find either the fear of failure or the humility to try again. It is within each victory that we find either the pride to sit complacent or gain the confidence to raise the bar. To set a new goal to for which to start training.
Last night as after supper, as I was sweeping up what I'm sure was more food on the floor than what found it's way into the baby's belly, I caught a glimpse of the stack of paperwork waiting for me, the school papers not filed and the attendance sheets and logs from the day still waiting for me to fill out, laundry waiting to be folded, beds needing sheets put back on,...I was grateful to hear a program on Focus on the Family. I have to admit I was somewhat bored as it was on the something about the 1st year after having a baby is the hardest and the young mom was sharing her thoughts and talking about her book.
Not only disappointed thinking I may never finish my book, and when I do, will I personally be stuck with the 1999 of 2000 copies that don't sell? I disagreed somewhat with the mom...how hard is a baby that sleeps most of the time, is happily entertained in the playpen with a box and some Tupperware and gives you justification for not leaving the house, putting on makeup...or a bra, to have a messy house because you were too busy snuggling a newborn every second you could, use paper plates and the microwave meals, and being able to nap every afternoon? But that's just my thoughts now that my toddler is all over the place pulling out toys, not verbal enough to express himself in ways other than crying, whining, hitting...all of which are not only annoying, require little training sessions. Yesterday, I caught the monkey climbing on top of the coffee table than jumping onto the recliner.
But this mom said one line that changed my night. "The ministry of mediocrity. Women want to know they are not alone." THAT'S ME! That's what I have been doing for years. I think this is why I was asked to speak most times in the past because I'm really not any better than any other woman. My goal is to give hope that if I can do this, well, than just about anyone can. You will not be getting advise from me on how to make your own yogurt, with milk you collected from a goat, use cloth diapers that you hand sewed which were washed in homemade detergent. You won't hear me sharing how with 4 little ones and homeschooling and Allen's business that we make it through flylady's check list daily and House Beautiful called wants to do a spread. I just don't have it all together. I lack in patience at times and in wisdom how how to handle my kids, I get worn out and discouraged with my husband, our finances keep us on edge, I don't exercise daily, eat my suggested fruits and veggies or drink 8 glasses of water (can't fit it in with all the coffee).
And I was OK with the fact that I was no one special for some time. I used to live in a little bubble that thought everyone loved me and would be excited I showed up.
Do you watch the Olympics? I enjoy the high jump, watching it that is. Where they run and somehow catapult themselves over the bar, just barely making it, arching perfectly, then if they clear the bar, they land on the other side softly, with victory for all others just to try to make it to be on the high achievers side. I always cringe, covering my eyes and peeking through my fingers, don't know what good that does, but it seems to take the edge off, all the while gritting my teeth and thinking, they aren't going to make it....
In my own life I have an invisible bar. A bar I focus on far too often. If I read a book about all the wonderful things a home school mom does and should be doing, hear a Christian program on how an amazing wife treats her hubby, or find out that one mom grinds from wheat and makes her own bread, another mom has the gift of hospitality and blesses others often. I have a knack for grabbing hold of the things others do best and wanting to smash them all into my own resume. Then suddenly it seemed as if my bar were no longer a goal only a couple of inches higher, and that if I could just s-t-r-e-t-c-h, a little, m-o-r-e...but that one day I woke up and felt a hopelessness that the jump would be impossible for me to ever make. It was just too high. Who raised the bar that high? Honestly, it was not that someone raised it a couple of feet all at one time, but rather it was my lack of focus. While sitting complacent on the sidelines waiting my turn to jump, I got sidetracked with the fans, the 1/2 time show, the concessions, other competitors, decided to wander around and tryout a couple other events just to see. I had missed my turns. Then when I got back in line, I realized I was not ready to jump, I hadn't been practicing, I had grown complacent with my abilities. I had only shown up to compete and would be going home in defeat.
There is a difference between being mediocre and complacent.
Complacency Definition:
1. a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger, defect, or the like; self-satisfaction or smug satisfaction with an existing situation, condition, etc.
Mediocrity Definition:
1. averageness: a quality that is adequate or acceptable, but not very good.
2. mediocre person: somebody who lacks any special skill or flair
There is a wide range of mediocrity. And that definition of what is average changes in the circle of life you find yourself in. When I'm surround by new moms, I'm considered an expert jumper, I've been there and lived through it 4 times now. When I'm among my peers and close friends I'm in the mediocre stage. Most of us are practicing on the same bar height. And then there are "those women". Those ladies that we come in contact with that seem to have a natural talent for getting it all done, have wisdom flowing from every word, terrific kids, beautiful homes, being all things and lacking in nothing (at least from the windows I'm peeking through). These are the ladies most of us other mediocre moms run to for coaching, look up to. We are inspired and awestruck with the talents they have which we are tyring to attain ourselves.
But then it happens, we start to compare ourselves. Without any thought of how far we've come, without any thought of their natural gifts. And the pendulum swings from complacency to self condemnation. We are called to only have to answer to our Father as the judge, yet we often as women take on that role to judge ourselves far too harshly. Condemnation comes from satan. Is it written how quickly we are suppose to have it all together? What of the woman who is a new jumper for Christ? Is her bar to be as high as a older woman? Is she to be judged and criticized for not having a natural talent to jump easily and as high as others who have been practicing as long? Is she not of value because it takes her longer to get to the bar?
The object of the high jump is to approach the bar, jump and get the body over the bar starting with the arms and head followed by the rest, clearing the bar.
So how in the world do we clear the bar? Run head straight at it as fast as we can? If we do, the law of physics says we will go straight up and the law of gravity says we will come straight back down. Do we run from an angle, coming along side as fast as possible? Almost trying to sneak up on and trick the bar? If we do manage to clear the bar, we'll miss our landing, on the mat landing is also a good goal. Did you know however, that the plan to get over the bar is not by focusing on the bar and trying to jump over it, but by turning your back square to the bar and concentrating on the preparation and to jump up?
The jumper runs at the bar at a 45' angle, giving him a full view of his goal. The approach speed in individualized. There is no such thing as the perfect speed. Some will run quickly, some slowly with a bounce, but none at their full speed, otherwise their gather will be ineffective. Then just as he is approaching he curves his approach and gathers the body, crouching and digging into his strength, in anticipation of the jump. He plants his feet and pivots his foot. If he plants too soon, he will go under the bar. This helps the body rotate, turning his back to the bar and gives momentum which will carry the body over the bar and onto the mat. The jumper doesn't have to worry about jumping over the bar, the body is going to go that way no matter what because the approach he took. With the correct foot work, all the jumper has to worry about is jumping vertically. The body will sail over and the jumper kicks up his heals for the final clear and then brings him down safely on the mat. Now he is ready and able to start training for the next higher jump.
When we concentrate our efforts not on trying to be great moms, but rather to be consistent in training our kids. Do not focus on a clean home but on being a good steward of our possessions. Not looking to be the star, but focusing our efforts to do all we can to jump vertically towards God, then the preparations we've made thrust us over.
And where do you start training? By Picking up a pole and going for it? Only if you like the flat landing approach. Little steps, little hops at a time. We may feel silly and self-conscious as we are hopping around just trying to catch our rhythm, to get a feel for what it is we are suppose to be doing. But without the proper foot work there is no successful jump. At first we must keep the bar low, just a little higher than the mat, landing on the bar under your shoulder blades for the 1st couple of times of failure can really hurt and discourage a potential star.
It is within each defeat that we find either the fear of failure or the humility to try again. It is within each victory that we find either the pride to sit complacent or gain the confidence to raise the bar. To set a new goal to for which to start training.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Dirty Mouth?
During handwriting Makensie was writing the word sheep. She says, "I'm can't believe I have to write this."
"Why?" I asked
"This is a bad word. Like when daddy gets really mad sometimes and he says, Holy Sheep"
"Why?" I asked
"This is a bad word. Like when daddy gets really mad sometimes and he says, Holy Sheep"
Friday, August 01, 2008
Friends
One of my sisters is just the most thoughtful of women. She is always dropping a card in the mail, getting little gifts for the kids, sending flowers to someone, checking on others. When I visit her you can just tell people love her. She has long been giving and considerate. I admire this about her greatly. I wish I was more thoughtful about what would really touch or be a blessing to others. Is that the gift of giving? helps? service?
Proverbs 17:17-A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity.
I have always felt that I can go to any of my family during times of adversity and especially my sister. I thank the Lord for her being part of my life. I want to strive to be a bigger blessing to others, I hope that my "sewing kit" of gifts will help to mend someone else's life at the right time.
I would say I have quite the blessing to have both of my sisters as close friends.
Proverbs 17:17-A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity.
I have always felt that I can go to any of my family during times of adversity and especially my sister. I thank the Lord for her being part of my life. I want to strive to be a bigger blessing to others, I hope that my "sewing kit" of gifts will help to mend someone else's life at the right time.
I would say I have quite the blessing to have both of my sisters as close friends.
So glad I just washed your hair
Brian in the bath: mom do you want to see how big I can splash?
Me: Not really
Brian: Ok. But if you want to see me splash water on the ceiling again, let me know and I'll show you how I did it.
-------------------------------------
Me sniffing Brian's hair after bathtime: Brian what is that green stuff in your hair?
Brian: Mouthwash
Me: Why?
Brian: To make it smell minty.
Me: Not really
Brian: Ok. But if you want to see me splash water on the ceiling again, let me know and I'll show you how I did it.
-------------------------------------
Me sniffing Brian's hair after bathtime: Brian what is that green stuff in your hair?
Brian: Mouthwash
Me: Why?
Brian: To make it smell minty.
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