Thank you Kaldi, the Goat Herder

After 4 hrs of sleep last night, I would just like to give a shout out to Kaldi the Goat Herder for your wonderful observation skills and sharing the wealth of your knowledge.

Also like to say a huge THANK YOU to Allen's grandma as she came over today, helped with meals and swept and mopped and held Wesley a lot in spite of his almost incessant protesting for me. Thank you so much grandma! Which Here's a funny video about cleaning with kids in the house. The story of my life.

Wyatt and Makensie got physicals and shots today. Thankfully the Dr. & her staff know us since Wyatt was wearing the pair of jeans with both knees ripped out, sporting 2 days worth of dirt and I'm pretty certain he was wearing the same underwear he had on BEFORE his bath on Tuesday. The homemade tattoos in green marker all over his back, hands & feet compliments of Gabby were generously pointed out by Makensie. Wyatt is walking slower than normal at this point from the "holes poked in his legs"and Makensie did really well until the time came and then jumped down off the table and asked if we could come back on a different day. Poor things. They should be singing thanks that I opted out of the chicken pox vac and from entering Makensie in the "One less" club. I think we'll shoot for the "Secret Keeper Girl" club instead.

The girls had their friend, Precious Jewel, over to play.

Enjoyed the card swap tonight although we (all 5 kids & I) chose to leave before getting asked to leave. Wyatt dancing and rolling around all over their stage was quite impressive I am sure. Not to mention the rice crispy treats were served on glass dishes.

This week has been one of those weeks filled with arguing and bickering and a mysterious ear virus that causes my voice to be unheard in anyone's little ears. I may just go sit in the Swagger Wagon and listen somewhat loudly to Pink's song and get it out of my system and come back in to do some more laundry:)

You Don't Know What You Got till It's Gone."

I am tired. This has been a long and rewarding day that started 23 1/2 hours ago. I got up at 4am to feed Wesley and could not go back to sleep. I did get some much needed quiet time though. I don't sleep well with Allen gone. I saw a sign that made me laugh and thought I might need to write this and put by our door. It said, "Prayer gets you in touch with God, trespassing will get you there quicker." :)

Got some smiles from Mr. Serious.

Gabby gave me a good laugh today when she was playing with Wesley and trying to teach him to say, "Hi!" and then tells me, "I sure hope that when Wesley starts talking he doesn't speak Spanish and does speak English." As if it's already in there we're just waiting to see what comes out. lol.

Got to briefly see a precious friend who is so amazingly giving much time and love to those affected by the tornado in West Siloam and Joplin. She has such a huge heart.

Today was Day 1 of the challenge to pray daily for my husband during the month of June, following the Power of the Praying Wife book. I didn't start on Chapter 1 because I decided to start where I left off in Chapter 28 - His Self Esteem. This was timely with Allen starting a new job and letting his business go I know he's had some self doubts and yet he knows well what he is doing. I prayed this morning for encouragement for him and confidence not to be shaken. And at noon he called and received a good 2 week report along with the company sending him out to California as a field representative. I am so proud of him. I am so thankful that the Lord gave him a boost in a tangible way and that the new company is seeing so much in him.

A dear friend who didn't mind me dropping off the boys half dressed with a bag of clothes in hand and dirty from head to toe, kept them for me to play Lego's and do boy stuff, while the girls and I went to my post baby 6 week follow up appointment now that we are at the 10 week mark. I thought about foregoing it completely since I missed it by a month, however despite the always humbling appointment, I was glad I went. I have so enjoyed the Dr and his staff over the last 11 years.

On the way home the kids and I stopped off at Barnett's Dairyette for ice cream and hamburgers....for one last time. Was an added bonus to run into a friend and her kiddos there. I found myself even wanting to buy a t-shirt with their name on the front. As if I am a tourist. The old saying, "You don't know what you got until it's gone." is so true for me right now.

Everywhere I look I see things in a different perspective now.

There is so much I want to do and then there is the list of things I need to do. I want to get together and have a pot luck with everyone, (all 4 of our friends:), before we leave town. I have been asked by 5 people for info on coupons and shopping in the last 2 weeks and I would like to actually teach a couponing class (I have decided I want a shirt that says I couponed before couponing was cool!) I want to go to the park and let the kids play and go again to the library and and and...

Allen's Grandma is coming over to spend the day with us tomorrow to hold baby and to help me. I have to say I'm feeling a little uncomfortable with her coming over to do anything but just hang out. Who hands their husband's grandmother a broom and mop and tells her to get busy? Allen told me that MY mom is spoiling him by doing his laundry and cooking for him each night. I thought it was funny that when she does it he considers it spoiling and when I do those things, he calls them, "woman's work". Not to mention that MY mom rubbed RUBBED Allen's feet down with icy hot last night so that after it was on he would not have to get up to wash his hands. Nice. My mom is serving my husband and I'm working Allen's grandma. Talk about feeling like the bad guy.

Gabby and I just finished up the craft project I am taking to a swap tomorrow night. And yes, I realize it is 2:30am and yes, I know that most parents do not let their kids stay up this late, and yes, that is why no one calls me for parenting advise:) It was however perfect and much needed one on one time for both of us doing something we love. The hostess, and my dear friend, Trish almost crossed me off attending, but I wanted to get to participate with these ladies...just one more time. I did not make cards this time however, instead I made these cute little things.

There are 10 sets of 6.

Wounded

We each have a different message that haunts us through our lives. Satan knows us. He knows what our destiny is and he knows how to cut deep to discourage us. He won’t bring adversity and pain to us just once, and he isn't random in those attacks. If you’ll look at your hurts, there is a theme to his attacks, to make sure we get the message loud and clear. It starts with our own parents, friends and peers, strangers, and then it carries over into our marriages.

Think for a minute if you have ever had any of these thoughts towards yourself:

I’m not good enough
Someone else does it better
No one will miss me
If I were a better wife or mom or Christian I would be loved more
I feel lonely and I don’t know why
I wish I did not want to be romanced
If people knew the real me they would not love me.
I’m not worthy of being loved
Every time I open myself up I get hurt.
I don’t want to be a burden
No one ever chooses me 1st

My personal message started being memorized. “I am not enough to absolutely be head over heels in love with, to be set aside as precious and valued. If those that know me best do not love me, what is wrong with me? How can God delight in me when he knows me completely? How can I trust Him that I’m of value to Him? Am I second choice? Does He love me because He has to? Am I worth the effort?" Almost as if living in a world where I’m just waiting for everyone to grown tired and leave me.

It is so much easier to believe these statements than the truth which is that we are wonderful, beautiful, delighted in, loved, protected, and desired.

We have been identifying and praying about stepping out into our callings and to go forth. It is powerful to identify the theme of destroying messages in our lives so that we are quick to separate and recognize each individual spiritual battle we are in rather than accepting it to be truth.

Start with your current situations of hurt, then work your way backwards. What is the message that has been etched on your heart that is so hard to shake? Think about the desires of your heart. What adversity comes your way when you follow in obedience to your calling? Think about your love language. These can all be tools used to come against you.

My hearts passion has long been to encourage and uplift other women. Each time I have stepped out to lead a study or speak, that is when I feel the heat. My love language is words, and I can live off a compliment for weeks. But it is by words that I’m also deeply wounded. My attacks have been through words from friends, family, my husband, and most often myself. Those I trust the most. Satan will bring up my own flaws and failures so that I start questioning what I even have to offer other women. Choosing to back off and fly below the radar. Unnoticed. Uneffective.

Even in our failures, the Lord can use us and has a plan. Through my own flaws and trials I hope that other women will be encouraged that they are not alone. All through the scriptures God used men and women not because their perfect track record, but because of their hearts towards Him and some that only He saw potential in.