Breaking Bread

I friend of mine wrote a journal recently that I couldn't even try to paraphrase and get the some value from so here it is.

As I was reading Acts 2 I found the verses 42-47 intriguing. They met every day, they broke bread together, they gave to anyone as needed, all the believers came together praising God and enjoying all the favor of all the people (sharing the storehouse). And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

I wrote several months ago about witnessing. And this once again impressed on me that desire to welcome more to our Lord and Savior. How attractive would it be to the non Christian to see us as Christians, gathering for a BBQ each evening with grilled corn, rolls, no beer and laughing and enjoying our families together and talking about the blessings of the day and praising God. Then one of the wives mentions that they were short for groceries that week and everyone hands them happily just a couple of dollars to help them meet their need? One of the men mentions hurting his shoulder at work and everyone gathers around and claims healing in Christ's name. And he is healed. Wouldn't that be desireable for anyone to want to be a part of that group. I would be wondering how I could meet them, if they would welcome me and my family in, if we could be that happy.

Do we are friends and groups of Christians bring in other families that do not have Christ in their lives? I'm just as quilty. We have mostly other Christian couples as friends, but we do have a few that are not. When we are having our Christian friends over we don't usually invite the other couples because we don't want them to feel uncomfortable with them as the conversations usually turn that direction. But shouldn't that be the reason FOR inviting over our non Christian friends, so that they can see what the Family of God looks like, feels like?

Oh Lord, please continue to bless us so that we might be able to break bread with all our friends in a way that offers excitement about belonging to Your family. When we eat with others we relax and build special bonds, allow our home to be an open door of hospitality to those who may otherwise never know your grace. Amen

What?

Thought I'd share 2 of my recent conversations with Gabby. The 1st was when I was in the shower:

Gabby: How do you spell ing?
Me: What? Wing?
Gabby: No. Ing.
Me: Wean?
Gabby: NO. ING
Me: Winga?
Gabby: MOMMA! NO! ING!
Me: Gabby, I'm sorry I just don't understand, tell me what you are trying to write.
Gabby: I'm trying to write, I'm GOING. And I don't know how to spell ING!

This one took place as we were walking into the grocery store:

Gabby: Do you know what my favorite kinds of beer are?
Me: What?! Hopefully Root Beer. What does daddy give you guys when I'm not home? (smiling at the couple who just heard what I heard)
Gabby: What? (blank stare)
Me: What? What did you say?
Gabby: Do you know what my favorite kinds of beer are?
Me: Shhh. You're favorite kinds of beer?
Gabby: No. ear.
Me: Ear?
Gabby: NO
Me: Gabby I don't understand. Tell me what your favorite kinds of beer are.
Gabby: MOMMA. RRR. NOT BEER!
Me: SHHH. Ok, tell me what are your favorites.
Gabby: Halloween, 4th of July, Thanksgiving. THOSE are my favorite times of year.

I think I need my hearing checked.

What's Love Gotta Do With It?

As I sat rocking my precious little man this morning. I found myself singing along to this song on the radio. After I had already sang 1/2 the song, it dawned on me how strange it is that they would play that song on KLRC, our local Christian station. The radio usually just stays on that channel permanetly. Then I started thinking back and relized that Allen had changed to the channel on Saturday night to listen to the football game. Not that the song that Tina Turner was singing was one of the worst, but it wasn't what I really wanted to listen to.

I have been doing a lot of evaluating over the last couple of weeks since I started with the book study on Sherpherding a Child's Heart. Thinking about the areas of my life that I need to change and more importantly the why's of that need to change.

I had shared with a friend last week that it is so amazing how God is our judge, He knows what is best for us, and only He can convict us when we are ready for that conviction. It is hard in our marriage as I'm sure it is in all marriages, when the husband and wife are on two different areas of growth. The areas God convicts me of are then mine to hold responsible for my actions. And sometimes I think I need to drag Allen along with me or worse yet, be his judge and help teach him God's word. Sometimes I just have to look really close at myself and ask "am I doing what it is that God wants ME to do?" I feel like I'm just rambling here, sorry.

In the days when Jesus was alive the officials who wanted to have him killed, openly announced and pursued that cause. Today, we live in the land of political correctness and while it would be just outright "crazy" for someone to announce and pursue killing Christian's that is still Satan's goal. Our officials do this quietly with control of speech, our finances, laws. The devil himself is most devious and brings about ways to destroy our walk so that we fall away from true alignment with God and become T-Shirt wearing Christians.

Last night on the way to picking up my kids from Awana's a lady in a vehicle behind me was obviously annoyed that I wasn't breaking the law and speeding and that I slowed down for the huge dips in the road. Hitting her steering wheel with each time and showing great frustration. Guess what? This lady pulled in behind me to also pick up her child. I knew her, she didn't recognize my van. She didn't realize I saw her acting that way in the mirror. I did see her jump out of her vehicle and put on a smiling face, no longer in a rush. How many little things have I done in my life to show my distance from a walk that followed and pursued Christ to the fullest? How many "brothers/sisters" have I turned off in disgust from getting to know Him better because I declared MYSELF a Christian. I know we all make mistakes and are not perfect, but it is my own lack of self control and my own lack of choosing what isn't the best that makes me nausous today.

So what if Christ were standing in person beside me today? Would I have ate that cotton candy we brought home from the fair when I'm needing to lose weight? Would I have yelled at the kids for being rude to each other (wonder where they learned that from?!) ? Would I have watched that TV program, listened to that song on the radio, said that unkind comment to Allen this morning? I can feel and understand what Paul was saying and I can imagine him in the outhouse grumbling to himself with a sicking feeling in his stomach, when he moaned, "I know the things I ought not to do yet I do them anyway. I do the things I hate. I'm a constant wreck inside!" (Romans 7:14-24). Then if you feel you are struggling, read the rest of Chapters 7 & 8 there is great hope and victory avaible to us as we continue to pursue our relationship with Christ and replace our sinful natures with cries to the holy spirit who will intercede and fill us.

Thank you Lord for your mercy, your provision of the Spirit, your unmatchable love.

Hanna Montana

(Giggle's)



So I'm sitting here waiting for 10am to roll around. 10am sharp! I'm logged into TicketMaster waiting anxiously. We are buying Hanna Montana....or at least going to try to buy them...for Makensie, my niece, sister and myself. I can hardly believe we are doing this. It will be a big surprise for the girls, we plan to make a day out of it. This whole process is new to me and I have been greatly educated this last couple of days on the how to's of buying a ticket. Did you know you had to live in the state of the concert to buy tickets for it? At least for this one you did. Did you know that when I originally looked at tickets they were selling for anywhere from $200-1200 dollars? What? I guess that was due to scalpers buying them up? Oh...about time...I'll be back!

Ahhhh...defeat...no tickets. Wow, that was crazy! The concert closest to us sold out what seemed immediately. After 25 mintues of checking for 4 tickets, 2 tickets, plaza seating, best available at any price seating, at Little Rock, Memphis, St. Louis, Denver...nothing. Everything was gone. This little girl is really popular right now. I'm disapointed that I won't get to give this fun memory to Makensie, however, the excited I felt to get away and have a day with her, has prompted me to find something else that she truely enjoys and make a day of it just one on one with her and then Gabby.

Have a great weekend.

I have the Perfect Child

Last night after our devotions we started prayer time and we've been talking about the ACTS of prayer. Adoration (I love you Lord because...) Confession (I'm sorry Lord for...) Thankgiving (Thank you Lord for...) Supplication/stuff (Please Lord...((others 1st then, then selves)).

They are really catching on but still ask sometime which order they are in. Gabby was praying and then asked, "What comes next?" I told her, "I'm sorry Lord for..." She starting shaking her head and waiving me on. "What comes after that? I was perfect today."

Hi, I'm Suzanne and I'm a AMCaholic.

What can I say? It's true. I usually look forward to my next fix. I watch the clock to get the kids fed so that by noon they will get to enjoy some outside playtime on the trampoline. And I can enjoy my little dark secret. I fix my lunch, grab my drink and once they are outside sneak into the front room. I find ways to justify it..."I'm eating lunch", "I'm just taking a little break", "I'm picking up the front room", "I'm clipping my coupons", "If it were a Prime time show, everyone would watch this". After all it really isn't my fault. My mom passed this disease onto me. Each day she would sew and the sewing machine was in the front room. As most of us with addictions, it isn't my fault, I place the blame on my mom. Often times my own kids have walked in on me to see their mom taking part in this. They even know the names of all some of them. I know I have a problem, but I'm not willing to give it up. If you took me for treatment I might go through the withdrawals, say everything they want to hear me to say and then take another hit the day I got home.

Wyatt fused during the night so I got up and made him a bottle then went in to get him and he was asleep again already. I decided to give him a couple of minutes to make sure he wasn't playing possum with me to just check back into my warm bed to have to get up again. So I checked my email. This was the email from a friend of mine. One of those friends that can be is on my list of intimating people with always a clean house and kids that mind:

"I just read that (101 things about me) on your blog. That was quite funny... so many things I never knew... that would explain why Gabby once told me a story that began with, "I was watching 'All My Children' and ....."

I knew I should have taken that off my list! I tossed and turned thinking how I could explain myself.

I don't get to watch All My Children everyday, although I would. I usually don't watch the entire 1 hour show which actually consists of about 30 minutes of advertising. I have been able to wean myself down to watching the 1st half and calling it good. I no longer schedule errands to make sure I'm home by noon. I also have stopped calling Allen to update him on Kendall, Josh or Ryan, after he got a little mad when I called him upset because Greenley left town. I still do get excited when I see one of my longtime friends, (yes I feel a special bond to these folks after all we have a lot in common...wealth, nannies, glamour, parties, the list goes on), on other shows. In fact, I'm sure I will be catching some of the Dancing with the Stars this season as Ryan (Cameron Mathison) will be one of the dancers, even though I previously thought the show was...well, just was not for me.

I looked up the stinkin 12 Steps to see if I could or was ready to move into a recovery phase:

The Twelve Steps
1. Admit we are powerless over All My Children—that our lives had become unmanageable. (I don't know about unmanageable, that's a little strong don't you think?!)

2. Come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. (Check)

3. Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him. (Check)

4. Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (I'm not feeling very comfortable with the way this is heading.

5. Admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. (This is a lengthy process)

6. We're entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. (I think that of all my defects, that there are some quite a bit more sever that I'll need to specifically focus on before I get to this addiction)

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. (I do daily. However, He said that He made me the way I am and loves me for who I am and if it wasn't for Allen pointing out some of them, I'd think I'm pretty great. j/k)

8. Make a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. (So far I don't think I've harmed anyone by watching, but if I have let me know and I'll apologize).

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. (Well, yeah that makes good sense)

10 Continue to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. (note taken)

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His Will for us and the power to carry that out. (once again, this one is hitting a little too close for comfort and I'm just going to have to pretend now that I didn't read it, then be mad later when I try to watch my show that I'm feeling convicted!)

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to AMCoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. (And failed)

The Dreaded Honey-Do list

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has a honey do list for my honey. Although most of them turn into honey-don'ts. Poor Allen works so much that I'm sure against his better judgement, he broke down and got me my own cordless screwdriver/drill and drill bits, pliers, hammer...everything except a toolbox.

I cried at 1st when he was giving it to me. Mainly for selfish reasons. I looked up at him as a little child looks at her daddy and asked, "Does this mean you aren't going to help me and take care of me any more?" He said no of course that wasn't his intention, just trying to give me some freedom to accomplish some of those little things that have been on the list for a while that he knew I could do. I did feel very empowered to hang up some shelves, until I decided I also need a level, and some spackling and some more paint touching up.

I have to protect my thoughts a lot in this area on the days that he needs some rest, or just wants a day off. I think of that 4 page list of things I would like done around here, some of them that have been on there for 3 years now. Some of them things that I just don't know how to do and frankly get a little on my soap box thinking, "I'm already busy. I have 4 kids, homeschool, do his bookwork, keep house (not well admittedly), and rarely have time for myself. Why can't I just sit down at 6:30pm and watch TV the rest of the night? Why can't I sleep in til 10 am some mornings? Why do I have to feel guilty if I take some computer time? Or at least have a day off from having to be the one to get everyone ready for church?"

So I'm gradually learning and patiently waiting for such things as the child's red, green and blue ceiling fan to be taken down out of the kitchen and put up the new white fan. Waiting for the broken glass to be fixed in the window of Wyatt's room (yes we do own a glass shop). Waiting for the front door to be fixed which hasn't open in almost 2 years now. although it can convenient when the salesman and Jehovah Witnesses stop by as you yell through the door, "This door doesn't open!" Waiting for a new mirror to be cut for Makensie's vanity (did I mention we own a glass shop?). Waiting for the extra trampoline frame to be taken apart and done something with. Waiting for the garage to be cleaned out so that I can get to my deep freeze without climbing up and over things like the extra 2 toilets that need to replace the ones in the house, the broken fan that someone "just needs a little work", the 3 extra desks that "just need a new leg", the streetlight that always makes me ask "WHY?!". Waiting for the barbie house that "can be made better and cheaper than that" to get made. Waiting for the chandelier to be hung in the dining room. Waiting for the screen door to be put back on the side door.

Now I know that sex works wonders towards having more leverage in pleading for those tasks to be done, but I'm a tired woman and I don't know if I have what it takes to get these and all the many others left on the list completed. I am seriously thinking I need my own wife.