Would You Pass the Grace Please? Thank You.

God works in so many wonderful ways. I struggle with wanting to be all things, like the Prov 31 woman, and while that in itself is great, my feelings of failure when that isn't achieved is crippling. I was reminded yet again this last week that one of the reasons I have to struggle so hard at times to keep up with the being the submissive, honoring, loving mistress to my husband, the perfect housekeeper, the creative school teacher, the gentle mother with hugs, the firm parent trying to balance their hearts, the coupon queen to stock our pantry, the helpful secretary, the organized accountant, the gifted cook, the confident home manager... is so that it will be too large a task for me to handle without the help of Christ. If attaining the perfection that I view as the Prov 31 women were just an easily reached goal, my heart would be as the Pharisees and my tasks would bring me the glory rather than my heart being met at my lack and being filled by Him. I just pray that in the end, my children and husband will praise me and God will say "job well done."

Confused sleep deprived fat woman says What?

So this last week almost 2 I have been working like a mad woman on our taxes from 2006 I had filed an extension in April as Wyatt was only 2 months old and thought it would be easier later...not so. So now I get about 3 minutes at a time to search through receipts, research topics such as the New Domestic Production Activities Deduction and try to comprehend what in the world it possibly could be trying to say in layman's terms, enter the numbers all without forgetting what I was doing before I was interrupted to be informed that Gabby wouldn't play a game with Brian, that Brian is hungry, that Makenise ate the rest of Brian's snack, that Wyatt is yanking the telephone cord out of the wall , that the girls are done with their seatwork and want to do art, that Gabby needs help with her piano lesson and that Wyatt is stinking up the whole house....and you know how the day goes.

So my best times to work are from 10pm on or before 7am. Making for a tired momma, plus all the attention I have paid to this monster of paperwork (all my fault for not keeping up or insisting on an accounting system earlier) has left my house in shambles, not to mention our brand new 2 week old dryer quit on day 3 of having it. So our laundry is having to be hung outside, the sheets to the bed were not dry last night, so hubby slept on the couch and I on the recliner...it was like we were having a sleep over party...without any popcorn or friends or a fun movie.

I'm about done...so I think.

I have found several things to be thankful for this last week, and some of them that my kids helped point out also.

Thank you Lord that you gave me a sister who is a CPA and always pretends to just loves it when I call to pick her brain.

Thank you Lord for coffee for me and cereal and vitamins for them as a meal staple this last week.

Thank you Lord that the repair man will be here today rather than having to wait 2 weeks.

Thank you Lord that I'm lucky enough to be fat because if I wasn't I wouldn't have gotten to wear some of my cute clothes that they didn't have in smaller sizes. (compliments of Makensie)

Thank you that even when I'm an angry mean momma it is only for a little while and that my kids still love me. (thank you Gabby...and sorry)

Thank you that when Makensie got to close to the opening on the big bouncy thing and fell out 2 times in a row in less than 30 seconds apart, on her head, that you helped her learn so that she didn't have to do it three times in a row.

Thank you that we have a piano and that Gabby has so much interest in practicing...for hours each day...making up her own songs...

Thank you that you allowed me to find Gabby and Brian eating directly out of the sugar bowl before they had a week long high.

Thank you that our wonderful neighbors put up with my kids. Especially Brian who thinks if they don't answer the door, it's because they can't hear the doorbell even after ringing it "only 10 times, that's all".

Thank you for our wonderful neighbors that amuse Brian when he goes over after the rain to "just checking out their storm damage, that's all."

Thank you for our wonderful neighbors that graciously sent all my kids home with their own bag of goods from their yard sale telling them it was all free.

Thank you for Makensie who's heart and love for you and missions leads her to pray more mature and meaningful prayers than most adults I know. She is a woman after your own heart and gives me the chills to see and hear her when she prays.

Thank you for a husband who could sense I was on the verge of a little emotional breakdown and took the kids fishing last night...or was it that he wanted to go fishing and was scared the crazy woman would surface if he went without the kids...great I need to continue to work on my spousal skills.

Thank you that some of the lessons we are covering in devotions are sinking in. Thank you that I still have time to correct the ones that didn't sink in the way I had hoped. Like when Brian announced 1st thing in the morning "I feel like being a fool today."

Thank you for taxes to do as it means we are still in business and we live in a great country with the freedom to worship you.

Thank you that Wyatt is such a precious baby. Thank you that he loves to spin in a circle as fast as he can in his walker...this gives me as much joy as any earthly sight possibly could.

Clean up on Aisle 17

We are told to find the good in our circumstances and this is what I strive to do most times. Especially when we have a day like this past Saturday.

The ladies ministry at church was having a brunch that I had planned to go to. That's good.

Allen ended up having to work so I couldn't go. That may seem bad, but...

The job paid well. That's good.

Our pantry was really running low. That may seem bad, but...

I decided to run to Fayetteville to hit Sam's (with my one day pass), the day old bread store, and Aldi's and get the pantry fully loaded as Allen gave me more than expected for groceries this week. That's good.

However Allen said he didn't want me to go out of town. That may seem bad, but...

He was off by 1pm and I got to go to the library by myself and then as a family we went to the Fall Festival. That's good.

When we went back to the van, it wouldn't start. That may seem bad, but...

Allen was with us and he had his work truck so he ran home and got the suburban. That's good.

However the Suburban wouldn't start. That may seem bad, but...

He had a charger and got it going. That's good.

It was already 5:00 and we had to get groceries and the kids were hungry. That may seem bad, but...

We swung through Long John Silvers and made it to Fred's for double coupon Saturday. That's good.

But Makensie got sick and vomited before we made it to the bathroom. That may seem bad, but...

There was a really nice manager and he volunteered to clean it up. That's good. (Although I'm curious to know if he felt the same way, as he had a roll of paper towels to do the job...we didn't buy anything, and I plan to take him a gift card this week. No one should have to clean up someone else's kids vomit)

So Makensie was sick. That may seem bad, but...

I called Allen and he said he would meet me at home and take care of her so I could still go get groceries. That's good.

Pull in the drive and Allen wasn't home yet. That may seem bad, but...

He pulled in shortly after me with a brand new washer/dryer set for me from Lowe's. That's very good.

However, Allen had twisted his ankle and was limping pretty bad and here was this set on the trailer. That may seem bad, but...

He is one of the toughest guys I know (I'll post more on that some other time). He still moved my old set out and into the garage, the new set in and hooked up before I made it home later that night. That's good.

However, when they were unwrapped they weren't the ones I had been waiting 2 years for. That may seem bad (and trust me I felt like it was very bad), but....

I didn't say anything, just looked up some opinions and consumer reports online. I finally explained why I wasn't jumping up and down with excitement. I needed some time to mourn my dream of the ones I had my heart set on. That's good that I didn't throw a fit.

However, it has an agitator in the middle of the washer! That may seem bad, but...

I fit 2 of the kids comforters in the washer and 3 pillows in the dryer with room to boot. Plus is has a dozen options. "What would you like to wash?" I push "comforter,please" and it does the rest. That's good.

So back to the grocery run...I had a prescription that had to be picked up by 7 and needed to return the battery on the suburban to the auto shop by 8 and it is now 6:30. That may seem bad, but...

I got to WalMart's auto service, told the men I needed help, the situation with the battery and headed to the pharmacy just as they were turning off the lights. They still waited on me. That's good.

Go back to the auto service and they don't have the same battery. That may seem bad, but...

They have a newer better one and since I had my receipt from 2 years ago in the glove box and it had a 3 year warranty, they replaced it and paid me the difference as the new battery was slightly less. That's good.

So now it's just Gabby, Wyatt and me starting our shopping at 8:15pm. That may seem bad, but...

I was just thankful to have cash in hand to do some major pantry stocking and found several good deals one being a tote on sale for $3 as my library bag passed away earlier that day. We made it home and unloaded before midnight. That's good.

Ch Ch Ch Changes

I don't really get motivated to set New Years Eve goals, it is more this time of the year that causes me to really look at my life. This after all the like the beginning of a whole new year. We start school, our mom's group starts up again, our Sunday School class is starting a new study. Everything is new.



I started looking at the different areas of my life and where I felt I need to improve and realized that was every area. So I'm going to work on them by priority one at a time until I get in a habit or routine that I can uphold. I recently read on another blog that she too was honing skills in her life and was inspired that I'm not alone. The areas that I would like to study and improve are: My relationship with Christ, my marriage, my parenting skills, my homemaking skills, my ministry to others. And of course each of these areas are broke down into subcatagories. In my realtionship with Christ area, my goals are to be consistent in my morning power hour of devotions and prayer time.



I have been doing study on the area of prayer and it is quite timely as our moms group is studying the book, "Becoming the Woman of His Dreams, 7 qualities every man longs for." The first chapter is on prayer, praying for our husbands and praying with our husbands.



One of the verses is Matthew 18:19-20. "Where ever 2 or more come together in agreement, there I shall be also." This is one of the verses we hear time and again. Yet this time it had new meaning for me. We all need to have a friend and be a friend. We need to be praying for each other so that those days when one of us is down, we can lift each other up. I realized that Jesus was rarely alone. Praying protects us and cuts us aways from sin and just the opposite, sin cuts us away from praying.

So what about you ladies? Are there any areas that you are feeling convicted to improve on or currently studying and working on? What are some of your goals? Let me know so that we can be praying for each other as we strive to be better women, wives and moms

Good Gifts

(this is an old devotional I found when I was purging my computer files)

My heart ached with joy this morning. Brian had wanted a belt and needed a belt for some time now and it seemed that each time we went to the store I either couldn’t find the right size, or we would forget, or it wasn’t in the budget that week. Today we acquired this amazing tan belt that matchs his boots perfectly. The edges are scalloped and there are silver decoration all around the entire belt. It truly is the dream belt of every little cowboy. He carried it all through the store and as soon as we got home he helped me carry in all the groceries just so he could look through the bags to find his new belt. Several times after putting it on he came and told me thank you and sometimes just stood there hands on his hips, shirt tucked in with this big glassy eyed smile showing off his new belt. He asked to call daddy and tell him all about this wonderful new gift he received. As I was tearing up listening to him tell his daddy about this new belt, I was reminded of the scripture and God’s promises to us.

Matthew 7:11 “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in Heaven give good things to those who ask Him.”

Brian had disappointed me several times already that morning. The belt wasn’t the only request he had. There were cars, trucks, hot wheels, and donuts. I said no to many things, but not to the best and to the one I knew that would make a difference and fill one of his needs. Sometimes we forgot and get frustrated feeling our prayers are not being answer or maybe even heard.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know that plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you.”

God looks down on our lives as if we were watching a parade from a helicopter. While we only see what is directly in front of us, He sees the entire show as one time. He knows our greatest needs and what gift will be of detriment to us even if the gift itself is good.

2ndly, The order of the scripture is ask and He will give. How many times do we take first and ask later? We are not take and ask for it to be blessed. God will always give his best when the choice and the timing is left to Him.

While most of our prayers often times are centered around material things or physical healing, which are not wrong. Let’s look at the prayers of Paul. He went beyond these things and asked God for the good things of the Holy Spirit, Christian character and conduct. These Good things know as the fruits of the Spirit. God cannot put things in our hands until He first prepares our hearts. He uses things as tools to build our Christian character. While it is good to rejoice at answered prayer our goal should be to rejoice that God could trust us with His answer whatever it may be. We should rejoice that God has brought us to the place spiritually where He can lovingly answer our prayers.

Lord, we thank You for the love of earthly fathers and mothers. Because of their love we can understand Your love better. Help us to remember that our unconditional love to our own children and our kindness will mirror you in their hearts. Lord, teach us to bring petitions that are pleasing to You, that in the answer to our prayers that You may be glorified. We thank You dear Father that You love us enough not to give us everything we ask for. Make us sensitive to Your guiding hand in our lives so that we may more faithfully respond to Your call.

For His Name's Sake

Psalms 106:1 Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever."

I sit here typing in the warmth of my home, smelling the coffee brewing this early morning, waiting for the patter of little feet to come down the stairs. I am blessed to be sitting here a free woman rather than in prison, healthy rather than full of HIV, alive rather than dead and saved rather than lost.

Psalms 106:2 asks us the question "Who can proclaim the mighty acts of the Lord or fully declare His praise?" This questions struck deep in my heart and yet it is so simple. Only those who have had mighty trials can proclaim His Might acts. While it is difficult at times to share my testimony, I hold fast to this verse.

Verse 8 tells us "He saved them for His Name's Sake, to make His Mighty power known." So if we do not sing of His praises how will anyone else know of His power? If we do not proclaim of His blessings how can His Name's Sake be glorified?

God didn't save the Israelites because they were thankful for His miracles; remembered His kindness, or were obedient. They were thoughtless, rebellious, ungrateful people that time after time turned their back on God and by their own admission "sinned, even as our fathers did; we have done wrong and acted wickedly". Yet, He saved them. Why? "For His Name's Sake".

The Israelites were in no small trial, they were being chased for their very lives by their enemies. And what was it the God did for them? Was it nothing short of breath taking? Miraculous? Verse 9 tells us, "He rebuked the Red Sea and led them through the depths just as He did through the desert. He saved them from the hand of the foe; from the hand of the enemy He redeemed them. (11) The waters covered their adversaries; NOT ONE of them survived. (12) Then they believed His promises and sang His praise."

While it is satan that brings adversity to destroy us, God allows that adversity to mature us and to have a reason to sing His praises when He brings us through it. We choose who will be our master and how we will go through that adversity. I am starting to see doors open as to how the challenges I have walked through were the shoes I needed to wear in order for God to use me where I am now.

Aren't we just like the Israelites sometimes? How quickly do we forget our last battle the God conquered? How often do we cry with worry? God will rebuke our enemies, He will save us, He will crush all our adversaries.

But it will be for His Name's Sake. When was the last time you proclaimed His mighty acts of victory in your life? I challenge you today, no matter what or how big the trial is that you are facing to ask Him what it is that He wants you to praise Him for and who He wants you to share your testimony with of His victory in your life.

So let us be women that Praise the Lord, give thanks to the Lord, proclaim the Mighty acts of the Lord, declare fully His deserved praise, give thanks for His miracles; remember His kindness and obey His commands.

Greed is so ugly

So yesterday morning we headed over to Springdale with plans to go by a free yard sale and then do some shopping at Aldi's and such. This yard sale was advertised on Free Cycle and the family was trying to do something good by blessing other people. We thought we would pick up a couple of things to help out Allen's brother who is having to start over and I thought I would get some more kitchen plastic containers. When we got there. I was shocked. I had told my kids on the way there they could pick out 2 things, maybe 3 depending on what they were and how many other people were there. After all, we didn't want to be greedy and be unfair to others. Plus we were only going to take something we could use not stuff just because it was free. We showed up at 9:05 and everything was picked over. People were grabbing as much as they could...boxes full and stacking up huge piles then letting there kids guard the mass. I did pick up a couple of O (Oprah's) magazines that were being completely ignored in what looked like the last box of items not taken. We never have extra money to get magazines and thought that it might be fun to look through. But then after someone told Gabby, "that's mine" after she picked up a toy out of a pile of hundreds that someone was hoarding, we just stood there and watched. It was as if we were watching looters or a village that had been starving a shipment of steaks. It was almost scary. And even worse was how sad it was. Nothing there was Food, Shelter or Clothing. This was all extra....stuff.

We got in the van and the kids all asked why they didn't get anything and why I said everyone should only take 2 things when everyone else was taking a whole bunch. I still cannot get the image out of my mind the way people were rushing around trying to get everything they could as if their lives depended on it. Had it been advertised for even 10cents an item, I doubt 1/2 the people would have showed up and out of them that did show up I'm sure they would have been a lot more picky what they were taking. In fact, I don't think I would have spent even 20 cents on the O magazines.

So what does this mean? Does this mean that the people who showed up were full of greed wanting something for free? Does this mean that all the people going crazy and hoarding really were in need or is it just the verse, "The LOVE of money is the root of all evil?" It seems when we have less God in our lives we seem to think that money and things will bring us protection. Did anyone else at that sale know God? Did anyone else even think it was selfish that they were grabbing all they could? The neighbor across the street was running back and forth picking up boxes and stacking them in front of his garage. Why? To use or to resale and make some money? And probably only $20 at that. $20! Does that justify an unwillingness to share when it was given to you?

I couldn't help but pray that we would have the opportunity this week to bless other families. And opportunities for my kids to bless other kids. We do not have extra, but what do we have that we can pass on to someone else? My house if full, cluttered, the kids toy boxes runneth over! Oh Lord, please safe guards our hearts. Remind us always that joy comes from you not things!