In His Image

God shows Himself in both the masculine qualities we find in men and the feminine qualities we find in women. What is it that we women reveal about who God is? Women are relational. If you want to know how someone is doing you don't ask the man, you ask the woman. We are the ones who dive in and ask those questions, that my husband accuses me of being too personal and invading sometimes. Which I'm sure he sees it that way, most women view it as truly caring beyond that, "how are you?" courtesy question.

The last couple of years have brought many changes for our household. We went from homeschool 2 girls to adding a boy to the mix. A little one that went from baby to full throttle boy toddler. I took on managing the office full time from home for my husbands business. We moved twice. All of that takes a lot of focus to detail. It was exhausting. I am organized to a point, because I have to be. But this is not my desire. I enjoy leadership, but that is because it gives me an opportunity to serve others, not because I'm the best manager. I LOVE spending time with women. I try my hardest to follow up and encourage and continually pray for areas of their lives I know they are struggling.

I had came to a point where I viewed this as a weakness, as if it made me lazy that I was inclined to choose a relationship building afternoon with some phone calls or emails that were pressing on my heart vs mopping the floor. I have come to accept that this is a part of God Himself. He is a relational God. I was so thankful to be reminded to have a Mary heart in a Martha world. I still have to find that balance because my husband is not a relational creature and it is important to have the main rooms picked up and a hot meal on the table, which I enjoy honoring him with. I have given myself some grace and ask for wisdom that the Lord will use me where He may and to help me be a reflection of Him and how much He cares for others. And on this journey to echo more of Him, I'm sure I'll continue to fail many.

We as women often define ourselves by the relationship of our lives with our spouse, children, family members. God yearns for a relationship with us as well. He is a jealous God. He desires our hearts to desire Him. We are tenderhearted, we are inviting, we are hospitable, tender, merciful and at the same time fiercely devoted. God is all these things too. If everyone is created in His image, what is it we can discover about Him in each person we meet?

The Grand Finale

It seems everywhere I turn I am being directed to study "women". How God sees us, how God cares for us, how we as women display the "image of God."

I'm reading a book, "Captivating" by John & Stasi Eldredge and Stasi invites us to view creation thru a new set of glasses. With each new day of creation, God added more detail, more beauty to the world, like a crescendo with a magnificent ending. I personally had found myself as many women thinking of myself as an afterthought. As merely a helpmate for the magnificent ending that was man. But God is omnipotent. He knew before He created man that He was not finished. Woman was the grand finale.

Women entice men with their beauty. Even women notice other beautiful women. Not in a sexual way, but who hasn't had their breathe taken away by a gorgeous woman? Maybe your daughter? Or maybe your grandmother, dressed for a special gathering? If you can tomorrow morning, look out over the earth green with many plants and colorful flowers, the perfect blue summer sky, listen to the birds welcoming the day, in the evening as you watch the sun set in a prism of colors and listen to the serenade of the locust. Know that you as woman are more beautiful and detailed and the zenith of all that was created.:) Not because of how you look but because of who designed you?

Small Claims Court

I don't have a picture to post of this one. Although I thought about taking one with the judge. Allen and I had to appear in small claims court last night. I have been so nervous about it since this ordeal 1st began back in April. Neither of us have ever had to do something like this before and really didn't know what to expect. We pray we never have to go thru it again.

While the judge was very nice, it was very difficult for justice to prevail. For 2 reasons, 1 being that while I was extremely detailed and prepared for the evening, my nerves got the best of me and I forgot to mention about 90% of what I wanted to. 2ndly the reason my nerves were so crazy was because the plaintiff stood there and lied repeatedly. Straight faced, absolute lies. I was shocked. We had just taken an oath. This was a woman that claims to be a Christian yet the fruits of her life have yet to show that, a woman that lied in front of 2 witnesses that I had there that can testify otherwise. The judge tried his best, but I could barely speak without getting shaky and here was the other woman who seems to be a pro at this. Not even a quiver in her voice knowing she is stealing from God's people. Not even a concern.

I thought of the prayers of David that God right the wrongs that the unrighteous attack us with. I am anxious to see how what satan obviously meant for harm, what good the Lord will bring of this. God knows our hearts, he knows our desire to only please him. That money that was unrightly gained thru wrong will not to going to help feed other families in need this month, it won't be going to bless others in need. I pray that while the Lord does bring about his justice, that he will also allow us to see His favor and return the money to those who love him.

I didn't sleep well last night. I kept thinking of what I should have said. Even her evidence in pictures were tampered with and not truthful. Did I mention that I'm just shocked that someone would do that? I am thankful that even though things didn't go the way we hoped that at least when I'm out in public if we run into her I won't have to live with the shame that we did something wrong and that same day when we all stand in front of the final judge she will have to answer for herself.

The Power of a Praying Wife

I think just about everyone has heard of this book. And if you haven't I highly encourage you to get it. Not just to get another book, but to read it and commit to praying. I personally had grown lax about praying daily for Allen.

Recently, I have had the opportunity to get more involved with a women's ministry and food pantry to serve others. I admitted up front my fears. Every time I have stepped out to put myself out there for any kind of leadership or service for the Lord, I get attacked. Satan attacks me thru words as these are my love language. Give me a heart felt compliment and I'll love ya and can survive for weeks on it. But just as devastating are words filled with hatred and lies and slander. Satan is like a wolf in sheep's clothes. He appears to be innocent and good until you are taken in. He has attacked in the form of friends, women who were leading a women's ministry at church, family, strangers.

I prayed that I would recognize any attack and be ready for any more onslaught of condemning words that cause doubt. Satan my not be wise, but he is cunning. Attacking from angles we did not prepare or foresee. Creeping in slowly so as to go unnoticed.

I would like to challenge all you wives to be on your knees before the Lord each and every day as you commit your marriage and husband to the Lord. Satan is in full force to come against marriages that are doing something good for the kingdom. I am recommitting to be the praying wife that my husband needs.

Here is one of the prayers from her book:

His Reputation
"Lord, I pray that (husband's name) will have a reputation that is untarnished. I know that a man if often valued "by what others say of him" (Prov 27:21), so I pray that he will be respected in our town and people will speak highly of him. You've said in Your Word that "a curse without cause shall not alight" (Prov 26:2). I pray that there would never be any reason for bad things to be said of him. Keep him out of legal entanglements. Protect us from lawsuits and criminal proceedings. Deliver those who rise up to do him harm (Psalm 59:1). Fight against those who fight against him (Psalm 35:1). In You, O Lord, we put our trust. Let us never be put to shame (Psalm 71:1). If You are for us, who can be against us (Romans 8:31)?

Your Word says that "a good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire" (Matt 7:18-19). I pray that my husband will bear good fruit out of the goodness that is within him, and that he will be known by the good that he does. May the fruits of honesty, trustworthiness, and humility sweeten all his dealings, so that his reputation will never be spoiled.

Preserve his life from the enemy, hide him from the secret counsel of the wicked. Pull him out of any net which has been laid for him (Psalm 31:4). Keep him safe from the evil of gossiping mouths. Where there has been ill spoken of him, touch the lips of those who it with Your refining fire. Let the responsibility of those involved be revealed. Let them be ashamed and brought to confusion who seek to destroy his life; let them be driven backward and brought to dishonor who wish him evil (Psalm 40:14). May he trust in You and not be afraid of what man can do to him (Psalm 56:11). For You have said whoever believes in You will not be put to shame (Romans 10:11). Lead him, guide him, and be his mighty fortress and hiding place. May his light so shine before men that they see his good works and glorify You, Lord (Matt 5:16)

Coming the the Griffin Home Spring 2011

God Time

Just as I was recently down and doubting my worth as a woman, God threw out the verses from Genesis 1:26 at me.

I went to a ladies Bible Study, and the verse that the speaker was sharing on was none other than this verse. There was also a parting CD for everyone, titled, "The Incredible Worth of a Woman." When I went forward for prayer, a woman with a gift of prophecy and prayer, spoke words over me cutting to the very core of my want and desire to feel before the Lord.

Monday morning in my email, a devotional on Genesis 1:26 conveniently arrived.

"The righteous cry, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles." Psalms 34:17. The Lord hears our hearts and listens when we cry out with mere groans.

The Lord wants us women to know that we hold value and that He loves us. It is satan that hates us women according to Genesis 3. Satan only brings adversity to those who are threatening his plan. Almost every time I have stepped out to lead, he meets me toe to toe. Whether it be from my own self doubts or other godly men or women who become his vessels of destruction. We are told to "count it all joy" when we are persecuted. What is the old saying, "no pain, no gain."?

I also had been doubting my abilities to minister to others. Who am I? Not a bible scholar by any means. Don't you have to have all sorts of degrees to know the bible? Or is this why the Lord gave us the Holy Spirit so that we may discern His word? How could the disciples possibly teach others in the land before the Bible could be found in the Dollar Tree and every hotel? How could they comprehend or teach when they themselves did not have a copy of the book? They had no formal training on all the interlinking scripture; or all the scripture that was yet to be even written. They spoke of the greatest commandments of all. To love the Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself. Do our lives mimic the heart of Christ? I know I have a long way to go.

Reading this morning about the balance between raising kids with academic excellency and Godly wisdom, I came across this passage that says it better than I can.

"But the Lord does not limit His call to only the well educated. He uses both the faithful and the unfaithful, the learned and the unlearned, to fulfill His purposes. A man or woman of faithfulness, regardless of educational background, may be called upon to stand out among the people and serve God." - Susan Card from "The Homeschool Journey"

The words of the Lord to Moses in Ex 4:10-12 covering his doubts in love and encouragement are still available to us today. "Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."

This is my prayer that He will use me in what ever role He has for me, whenever He has it planned for me.

I am Woman, Hear Me...please.

I have a heart for women. I thought I had lost it, but had to come to terms with what I envision as my ministry quite honestly may never come to be. I have found myself this past year drained from the many responsibilities I hold as just a mom and wife. It has been a difficult year to sit by and willingly have to give up my hope to reach out and minister to women. A dream I have long had. A purpose I felt that I was on the road to fulfilling. I gained so much joy from being involved with activities where I was in the position to personally touch another ladies heart and life. I thought this was my calling, my destiny to follow. And maybe it will be someday.

And as much as I always want to put into other women, I so often find myself back at square one in my own heart. Asking that same question, am I really of worth to the Lord? Does He see me? Does He hear ME? Who am I?

The devotional book I decided to finally pick up and study, that was on the list 2 years ago thru our moms group, is about Homemaking. I honestly felt more exhausted and discouraged after the 1st chapter and study questions than when I started. It seemed to magnify my doubts. Yes, Genesis 1:26 tells us that we females were created in the image of God. But am I the only one who feels like an afterthought sometimes? God created man and then woman to complete the man? Maybe it's because I'm daughter to one and wife to another man who sees women this way. Maybe it is all my own insecurities. I want to be loved, desired and known by the Lord, but in my own failures and weaknesses and lack of who I want to be, what is left for Him to want me? My head knows the correct answers and my heart has experienced such a closeness to Him at times, it is difficult for me to be patient and wait during the seasons of His seemingly silence.

Where does the guilt and the doubts come from? It is the whisper of the enemy. Always. I know that the Lord knows how many hairs on on my head, but was it His desire for me to be or just that He knew my parents would choose children. How am I unique to show of Him image? What can I bring to this world that 7 billion other people do not? I guess that is what is the heart of a lot of women, the desire to be wanted, to be needed and to feel special.

I had to step back and understand that my ministries to women, starts in my own home. How can I give to others what I have not 1st given to the 2 most important ladies in my life? How can I share with them the importance of their lives and the deep love the Lord has for them, when I doubt my own? What if all I am ever called to be is a mom and wife? Will that be enough? Would I not be so pleased if that were the roles my girls fulfilled? There is a book that was recommended that is next on my list. "When all you ever wanted, isn't enough."

I am a reader, possibly the world's slowest reader, but a reader all the same. God is always perfect in His timing. Whispering to me the truth thru friends, songs, His word and the words of others. In the Homeschool book I'm reading (still) this very week I read the passage she wrote of the same reference in Genesis 1:26. She asks the question, If so many individuals are created in the image of God, from the beginning of time until now, it just goes to show how vast and complex our God is. "Because we are all created to bear God's image in a unique manner, there is so much that we can learn from one another.

And another confirmation in perfect timing. I picked up a book, "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge at a yard sale, who knows how long ago, and lately have been recommended it several times. I started it this weekend. I'll give you one guess as to what the 1st chapter delves into? Of course, being the image of God, as a woman. If as women we are designed to have a heart filled with love, nurturing, grace, softness and all the qualities that women behold, then this is part of our God as well. Just as in the Old Testament God was bold and firm and strict and full of laws 1st, then came the covenant of Grace. So He created male and female, both in His own image.

A quote out of this book that jumped out at me, "I know I am not alone in this nagging sense of failing to measure up, a feeling of not being good enough as a woman. Every woman I've ever met feels it - something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. The result is Shame, the universal companion of women."

So I've come full circle from living the shame and wanting more, to having a heart for women who share the shame to know more, but not sharing because I wear the same badge.

Oh Lord, who am I as you see me? Open my heart and eyes and mouth at the perfect time. Help me to raise godly young women who know their worth in you. May I fulfill the role you have for me. Convict me to be more if that is your desire, comfort me to in rest and contentment in the role that I'm already living today.