Monday, January 01, 2007

Spouse Survey-Answered by Allen

Today is our 8th anniversary. I wish I could upload some pictures. We eloped and got married in a beautiful 1900's bed and breakfast mansion. I had my dress already and he rented a tux and it was perfect. So for those of you who don't know my hubby too well and feel sorry for him for me picking on him at times. I thought I would open up the gates to the bowels of hell and let him answer some questions this morning...what was I thinking! I think I've shared, already, but one of the reasons we get along so well is because we both know we are both goofballs and we are both open to laugh at each other....often.

So here are my questions to him and his answers(in blue):

Happy Anniverysary! If you'll answer my survey questions, I'll leave you alone and let you sleep another hour. Why do I have to answer the questions when it's your website?

(I explained to him this is his opportunity to share his side.) SWEET.

What did you think when you 1st saw me? (he made a gagging sound), I hit him. I told the guy next to me that I was going to date that girl.

Where you impressed that I stood you up for our 1st date? Oh yeah.

Then why did you ask me out again? I always get what I want.

What was our best date? The weekend we went to Branson and stayed at the resort and went and saw all the sights and shows.

What was our worst date? I don't think I've had a bad date with you.

How long did we date before you knew you wanted to marry me? Where we married when we got pregnant? I hit him. About 3 months.

I knew by the end of the 1st date. So, you scared me a little.

Have I ever embarrassed you in public? When haven't you?!

When?! At the waffle house when you wanted me to answer a questions and I wouldn't so you started cleaning yourself like a cat. In the cave when they turned the lights off and you farted really loud and then pointed at the kids when the lights came back on. In Wal-Mart when you flinched when I tried to touch your face and then acted like you couldn't hear me and then told the cashier that you needed some ice that I had hit you and you think your eardrum was broken, In Olive Garden when you yelled across the table that you hoped I didn't think that this relationship was going any where that you were just using me for sex, just so you could get a reaction out of everyone around you.

Ok that's enough. I'm not done, this is my survey

Next question. Oh no. How about the time when that guy said we looked so in love and you told him we just met that mornning and he kept following me around the store asking if you had any sisters.

Fine, how about the fact that everytime we go to Wal-Mart you chase me to the car acting like a huge wild gorilla? That's for the benefit of the kids.

Ok, next question. How about the time you wrote A** on my forehead in marker and on all my socks and on all my cups that I take to work.


How about you putting an entire bottle of blue food coloring in my pop and me not knowing until I look in the rear view mirror half way through the day and find my teeth and lips look like I've been dead for months. How about you opening the blinds to our bedroom which faces the street and then screaming there is an emergency so I jump out of the shower to run out naked? How about when you picked all the pecans off the top of my moms pecan pie at Thanksgiving and then told her I did it and she slapped me with the spatula? How about when you tell my dad you'll smell him later when we leave?

Why do you love me? Who knows!

Do you ever wish you had married someone else? everytime you embarrass me.

What is your favorite thing about me? And you can give as many answers on this one as you want. You personality, quick wit, that fact that you take care of me so well, you take care of our kids, and before cafemom you used to take care of the house. I also like your boobs.

What is your least favorie thing about me? And you can only give one answer. Your silver tongue.

That's part of my personality. hmmmm

Why do you flinch when I get close to you sometimes? I dont' trust you!

Are you afraid I might poison you or harm you in any way? Yes. Daily!

There you have it. The greatest love of all. I just have to say that after his very 1st answer when he started gaggin, I acted like I was scratching his back but I was really using my pen and wrote on him. But it will wash off this time


Amy Hornek said...

Holy cow! You have done some crazy stuff to that poor man!! LOL! Oh well, I guess he loves you anyway so it's all good!

Lisa Tyson said...

Oh, goodness, Suzanne. You make me laugh so hard. Love you, girl!


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