Monday, September 17, 2007

What's Love Gotta Do With It?

As I sat rocking my precious little man this morning. I found myself singing along to this song on the radio. After I had already sang 1/2 the song, it dawned on me how strange it is that they would play that song on KLRC, our local Christian station. The radio usually just stays on that channel permanetly. Then I started thinking back and relized that Allen had changed to the channel on Saturday night to listen to the football game. Not that the song that Tina Turner was singing was one of the worst, but it wasn't what I really wanted to listen to.

I have been doing a lot of evaluating over the last couple of weeks since I started with the book study on Sherpherding a Child's Heart. Thinking about the areas of my life that I need to change and more importantly the why's of that need to change.

I had shared with a friend last week that it is so amazing how God is our judge, He knows what is best for us, and only He can convict us when we are ready for that conviction. It is hard in our marriage as I'm sure it is in all marriages, when the husband and wife are on two different areas of growth. The areas God convicts me of are then mine to hold responsible for my actions. And sometimes I think I need to drag Allen along with me or worse yet, be his judge and help teach him God's word. Sometimes I just have to look really close at myself and ask "am I doing what it is that God wants ME to do?" I feel like I'm just rambling here, sorry.

In the days when Jesus was alive the officials who wanted to have him killed, openly announced and pursued that cause. Today, we live in the land of political correctness and while it would be just outright "crazy" for someone to announce and pursue killing Christian's that is still Satan's goal. Our officials do this quietly with control of speech, our finances, laws. The devil himself is most devious and brings about ways to destroy our walk so that we fall away from true alignment with God and become T-Shirt wearing Christians.

Last night on the way to picking up my kids from Awana's a lady in a vehicle behind me was obviously annoyed that I wasn't breaking the law and speeding and that I slowed down for the huge dips in the road. Hitting her steering wheel with each time and showing great frustration. Guess what? This lady pulled in behind me to also pick up her child. I knew her, she didn't recognize my van. She didn't realize I saw her acting that way in the mirror. I did see her jump out of her vehicle and put on a smiling face, no longer in a rush. How many little things have I done in my life to show my distance from a walk that followed and pursued Christ to the fullest? How many "brothers/sisters" have I turned off in disgust from getting to know Him better because I declared MYSELF a Christian. I know we all make mistakes and are not perfect, but it is my own lack of self control and my own lack of choosing what isn't the best that makes me nausous today.

So what if Christ were standing in person beside me today? Would I have ate that cotton candy we brought home from the fair when I'm needing to lose weight? Would I have yelled at the kids for being rude to each other (wonder where they learned that from?!) ? Would I have watched that TV program, listened to that song on the radio, said that unkind comment to Allen this morning? I can feel and understand what Paul was saying and I can imagine him in the outhouse grumbling to himself with a sicking feeling in his stomach, when he moaned, "I know the things I ought not to do yet I do them anyway. I do the things I hate. I'm a constant wreck inside!" (Romans 7:14-24). Then if you feel you are struggling, read the rest of Chapters 7 & 8 there is great hope and victory avaible to us as we continue to pursue our relationship with Christ and replace our sinful natures with cries to the holy spirit who will intercede and fill us.

Thank you Lord for your mercy, your provision of the Spirit, your unmatchable love.


WendyJanelle said...

AGH!! I just yped a long comment and it vanished. That's what I get for being long-winded!

Indiana Amy said...

Suzanne, I just love you to pieces. It just makes my heart smile that you desire to live a Godly life and are working toward it every day. Although you totally convicted me in this post, it's something I needed.

Oh, and I am reading Sheperding A child's heart too. Or, I'm picking it up again at least. I've got 3 books I need to read for 3 different reasons so it's on the nightstand just waiting...


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