Monday, June 30, 2008

Lately I have been a little discouraged in my surroundings and "earthlyness" that I have faced. Many of you know that I am a pretty tough critic of myself and so I really take to heart when things seem to not be going as I think they should and worry that they are not most glorifying. So it is time for a transformation.

Gabby commented to me how she used to be just a caccoon and now that she is 7, she has turned into a beautiful butterfly. If only transformation was that easy. When I was young, I found major transformation in going away to church camp for a week. Now that I'm older I don't know that a week will cut it. But each summer I been blessed by getting to get away from life as I know it here and get a 2-6 week transformation time at my folks. Time to think about what influences in my life that do not benfit me, choices that will not glorify Him, areas that I need to continue to work on. We go so the kids can take swimming lessons and do some summer activities and spend time with grandma and grandpa and their cousins and aunts and uncles.

This part of summer is like my New Year. A time that I can get away from the daily tasks that I get sucked into without really needing to be part of my life.

So tomorrow, July 1st, starts this years, 40 days of Transformation. I have my Bible, pen, notebooks, prayer topics and a couple of study references. I need to focus on what is it that God says is right and true and find His direction for my life and my children. I feel that sometimes in the Christian community that with all the great books, wonderful radio teachings and speakers...that there is wealth of knowledge. I place the bar at a heighth, but then I hear more that I should be doing, or that another mom does, and then I rasie that bar on myself. Then I read something that I am suppose to do, the bar raising again. It's not wrong to take in knowledge, and continuely mature as adults and Christians. But all books, all radio teachers are all human. I might hear a program and then feel more of a failure because that is an area I'm not thriving in. But we all come from different backgrounds, different marriages, different points in our spiritual walk. It isn't up to me, it isn't up to the latest trend or pressure, it isn't up to the our friends to determine the area that we need to grow. Only God can give us that divinely led path and perfect direction. Only He knows what is best. And that is who I'm going to be studying with.

I don't know that this year we will be able to stay away for such a long time with some recent events, but I do plan to do some concentrated focusing on my areas of weakness.
As I was studying this morning in Psalms, I read, "Save me, O God, by Your name; vindicate me by Your might." I have not been standing firmly at my door to fight off the enemy, but have been weak and tired and listened to his lies. I have not planted myself firmly on the name of Jesus that by His name he will save me, save me from the habits I can't seem to break, save me from an earth that is bent to sin, that He will vindicate me in the eyes of those who feel free to judge, that He will vindicate us from what satan steals. There is power in His Name. And it has been a while since I have courageously stood with that power in hand. He is stronger than any enemy, bigger than any problem, healer of any ailment, light against any fear.


Amy said...

I hope that you are wonderfully transformed in these next 40 days. Also refreshed and reawakened! Enjoy!

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