Momma, Trauma and Drama

I miss my computer most of the day. Our office is on the south end of the house by 3 windows and most of the day during the winter months the glare from the sun, even through the curtains, is too much to see much of anything on the monitor. I was so humbled and felt very blessed when I checked email to find so many little "love notes" from friends for my Birthday yesterday. It was much appreciated and I'm so blessed to have a life full of caring people. I received many phone calls and I am truely humbled. I pray that I am a good friend in return.

Yesterday was full, we haven't started school back up yet, as the week after Christmas still feels like we need time to play and enjoy each other and life (and the new toys). Plus yesterday was my birthday, today is New Year's Eve, there are appetizers to be made so we can stay up late for the ball to drop, and tomorrow is our 10 year anniversary.

Yesterday morning I was looking through the tv channels and found the Wiggles. Wyatt loves the one video we have of them. It's the same one we've had since Makensie was a baby. Makensie says, "Wow, I thought the Wiggles would have been dead by now." I pointed out that, "I was alive with their 1st video and I'm not dead yet." Then she tried to explain it off, "I know, it's just that they look so young, like exactly the same, they must have had plastic surgery." Thank you Makensie. :)

We no longer have our precious Scout aka Sweetheart. (For those of you who do not know...Sweetheart was a 200+lb pot bellied pig that we inherited when we bought this house...in the middle of town...with no fence...or pen. She just wondered around the yard.)

Several months back we noticed she was getting a little more grumpy than her usual self, and with a toddler wanting to run outside, and me wanting my laundry line back, we passed her on to another family. It was harder than I thought to watch her leave...and louder as she was pretty ticked off about having to be loaded into a trailer. So to replace the void in our hearts we adopted a hamster from my nephew. Her name is Jennifer. So we went from an hugely obese blind pig to a small gimped hamster. Jennifer had an accident and broke her leg before we got her. She was actually in a cast till she ate through it and her leg never healed properly so one of her back legs just drags along. It's quite sad, but it hasn't slowed her down from escaping from the cage half a dozen times. She and I have a understanding now that if she escapes again and runs under my bed at night that she will be sleeping with the fishes. SOOOOoooo....long story even longer....I heard Brian screaming that terrible "I'm really hurt" scream, and went running to find him holding his hand covered in blood. Brian as boyish as he is, does not do blood. He couldn't even quit screaming long enough to tell me what happened or where he was hurt. I'm rushing him into the kitchen to rinse him off and get the red rag. (a red wash cloth for accidents so no one sees the blood is a great thing). Jennifer had bit him good. While only on the tip of the finger and it was all still there, but deep enough to make a mess. After Brian calmed down and quit sweating and the possibility of him passing out was gone. We found out the he was holding Jennifer and Wyatt decided it was his turn and I'm sure as Jennifer's life was being squeezed before her eyes she acted in self defense.

And the drama? Me still not learning to be happy and content and zone off in my numbness when my feelings are hurt vs trying to share them. I think the "Better Marriage" advise is don't stuff your hurt. Well, that only works if you are married to someone else. I should have known better. We've discussed my husband's RCD before. (isn't it funny that I first shared our struggle with his RCD on my birthday 2 years ago?) But I was weepy yesterday. We just had Christmas and he didn't surprise me with anything, not even something little in the stocking. Then yesterday I thought he would at least have a card or maybe offer to do dishes, watch the kids so I could take a bath....then I started dreaming and getting great expectations. The reality was....he went to breakfast with his mentor, came home to make supper (which was really nice of him), and after going back to the shop for away, came home "because he just couldn't stand it anymore, Arkansas was playing on TV against 4th ranked Oklahoma" and he really wanted to see the last of it. Now if any of you are words people, I'm sure you can relate to what I was thinking. How can someone remember when every game is on, carry a schedule in their wallet, yet not think to just pick up a stinkin card! This is where I should have stopped and counted my blessings rather than attending the one woman pity party. I should have just put on my "poor RCD'd Allen" glasses and a smile and went to bed. But nooooo....I felt the need to share rather than stuff, that I was a little hurt. That of course led to drama as "I'm sorry" is unpronounceable in Allen's vocabulary. So I slept in the recliner, used up my box of Kleenexes and have a crying hangover today. Should be a lovely anniversary supper out tomorrow.

Thinking ahead to the New Year

One more reason I love this time of year is it is goal setting time. And you know how we list people love that.

Areas to be thinking ahead and planning for this next year?
Time with God-What do you want to study and grow in this year?
Marriage-Add a date night? Spice up the romance?
Kids-Add one on one time? Personal goals.
Home school-Educational goals? Skills?
Housekeeping-This is one I'm working on-Starting the 1st Sunday of the year, I'll be posting a Devotional from A Clean Heart for A Clean Home. Hope some of you will take the Clean Home Challenge with me.
Health-I think the same devotional will also apply with A Clean Heart for a Healthy Body.
Business(s)-Where do we want to grow and expand? Each of the older kids are working on what they want to start with as their own business.
Finances-Where are our shortcomings? How can we make money work for us?
Community-How can we find a way to reach out to our community and what does that look like for this season of life?

I have a lot of goals and am still working on what I would like to see and how to do that. But at the same time realizing that we have to be flexible and know when those will need changing....sometimes weekly.

Love this quote by Robbie Castleman from the book "Parenting in the Pew"
Most people worship their work,
work at their play
and play at their worship.

So as we are setting goals for this next year, looking at the blank slate of your day...I encourage you to add in your quiet time with God 1st. Then fill in the gaps in order by priority. :)

The Twelve Days of Christmas for Lovers

Consider giving gifts to your spouse on the Twelve Days of Christmas. Here's a more economical version than the original. Our version includes hugs, kisses, love songs, and other inexpensive tokens of your love for one another.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a sweet kiss on my forehead.

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, four telephone calls, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, five chocolate gold coins , four telephone calls, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, six candy kisses, five chocolate gold coins, four telephone calls, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a seven minute massage, six candy kisses, five chocolate gold coins, four telephone calls, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eight tasty cookies , a seven minute massage, six candy kisses, five chocolate gold coins, four telephone calls, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, nine hidden love notes, eight tasty cookies, a seven minute massage, six candy kisses, five chocolate gold coins, four telephone calls, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, ten love songs to play, nine hidden love notes, eight tasty cookies, a seven minute massage, six candy kisses, five chocolate gold coins, four telephone calls, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eleven passionate kisses, ten love songs to play, nine hidden love notes, eight tasty cookies, a seven minute massage, six candy kisses, five chocolate gold coins, four telephone calls, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, twelve no-chore coupons, eleven passionate kisses, ten love songs to play, nine hidden love notes, eight tasty cookies, a seven minute massage, six candy kisses, five chocolate gold coins, four telephone calls, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

Today, the true cost of the original Twelve Days gifts would probably be around $60,000.
However, our version costs just a fraction of that - less than $40.

What you need to actually purchase or do on the 12 Days of Christmas:
12 kisses on forehead (1 for 12 days)
22 blooming flowers (2 for 11 days)
30 hugs (3 for 10 days)
36 phone calls (4 for 9 days)
40 chocolate gold coins (5 for 8 days)
42 candy kisses (6 for 7 days)
6 7-minutes massages (1 for 6 days)
40 cookies (8 for 5 days)
36 love notes to hide around the house (9 for 4 days)
30 love songs to play (10 for 3 days)
22 passionate kisses (11 for 2 days)
12 coupons for not having to do a chore around the house (12 for 1 day)

It's Raining Meat

When I saw today's topic to write about on another site: What's the strangest thing you've ever found in the street? I couldn't help but laugh and realized I hadn't shared this yet.

Last week, I went to retrieve some items out of the outside freezer. There was a package of hamburger in there with a label from a different butcher than all the other meat. I assumed hubby had received it as a tip, which is not that uncommon. I grabbed it up and brought it in to thaw out. As I was cooking supper later that day, Allen comes home and sees I'm frying up hamburger for burritos and asks, "Did you find that extra package of hamburger in the freezer outside?" I told him that was what we were having, and that I hoped it was ok for me to use. He then tells me all excitedly, "I found it in the street outside my shop yesterday." WHAT?! "It should be fine, it was still completely frozen and I had just been outside so it must have fallen off someone's car or something."

Now while, I do love me some free stuff, random meat in the middle of the road is not one of them. When I thawed it out, it was still pink/red inside, it didn't smell funny and the butcher was local, however...it was still from the middle of the street. Allen was the only one who ate the burritos the 1st night and since he survived, he got to eat them the 2nd night in the form of enchiladas. I just couldn't get over the facts of the case to join him.

This little light of mine

Sometimes I think that God is surely angry with me, with my faults, with my failures, with my bad decisions. I have to grab those lies quickly and replace them with the truth. The truth is Grace is God's attitude towards us. He does for me what I do not deserve. He does in me what I cannot do in myself. He takes sides with me when He should be standing against me. Do I stand with my husband at the times when in wordly eyes I have every right to stand against him?

Christ's entire life was one of humble submission to the Lord. He could have had a magnificent temple, made of gold and filled with servants. However born in a stable, living as a traveling missionary, He voiced no complaints of His wants or have nots. Yet, how far too often have my own words and actions been lacking in submission to Him and to my husband? How many times have I lost my joy by comparison of what else is out there that I would like to have?

Reading through the Law books in the Bible is not light reading and often times requires a lot of extra research to even know what I'm reading and why it is there. There were a lot of laws in the beginning. There was no Christ with which to receive grace and salvation. Another reason for the laws was to help bring sin to light. How could anyone know they were doing something wrong unless they were instructed that it was wrong? The more we know of God the more we notice our sins. The old saying "ignorance is bliss" could also be "ignorance is death".

Before reading Created to Be His Help Meet, and actually in all honesty, before I was married, I was a much better wife. I say this book is hard to read and not a feel good book, because it shines light on my sins as a wife.

All of Jesus' dealings with sinners was done with grace in His actions and words. How often have my own words and actions been lacking in grace when I'm dealing with the sinners in my own home? A wise friend once told me, we can write it off as a bad mood, but if you had company would you treat them the same way then try to justify it as a bad day?

Thank you Lord for Your Word, Your convictions on our hearts, for shining the light so brightly on our sins that they cannot be hidden in our hearts once we know You, thank you for your examples and instructions on how to live our lives.

Unanswered Prayer

You know that song by Garth Brooks, Unanswered Prayers? It's a country song, but one I have always enjoyed. I am so thankful that God answers our prayers and equally thankful for those He says no to. Even if at the time, it is not what we want the answer to be. We can rest assurred that He has our best in sight. Sometimes our views change quickly and sometimes it is over time that we grow in Him and gain wisdom and look back and wonder why that was ever a prayer to begin with.



The chorus is:
Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

If you might be a mom of boys if...

you clean out the frig and find a jar of rollie pollies.

What about you?