Obedience

I am reading a wonderful little diddy of a book called "The Homeschool Journey". So far the first several chapters have been more for me as a person than anything about homeschooling. Talking about integrity, servant hood, humility and obedience. Obedience is nothing new for any parent, but I can always learn from others. I used to think that self-control, or the lack of, was at the core of most of my problems I bring on myself. But the author challenged me to see it as a slave to self, full of pride. Disobedience to the will of God. That cuts deep. It is honestly so much easier to say I had lost self control and over ate than it is to admit that I committed gluttony and disobeyed God's will for my body.

Jesus in the garden was tore between his flesh and his will and his Father's will. "If there is any way this cup can pass, if there is any way You can get me out of this, do it!" "Nevertheless not My will but Thine be done." And He prayed it not just once, but 3 times. - (That's a summary:) Matthew 26:39-44 So the victory that took place on the cross was because of Christ choosing to serve and have ultimate obedience.

So it goes with letting our children disobey. It is never the easy thing to stop and correct our kids, or at least for me it's not. I do not like disciplining them. I do not like taking things away and seeing their sad little faces. I'm the mom, isn't it my job to love and protect them to the ends of the earth? I often fear I look like a hypocrite with my own shortcomings as I am still striving to have my life reflect more of Christ's characteristics. This has been my own arch enemy in doubting if I even have a right to correct the kids at time.

I have often gained their obedience with bribes, or asked each individual child to do the chores they are already good at or enjoy. But this is for my own comfort level, so that there is no butting of heads. But there is also no true uncomfortableness to reach their hearts to become genuine servers and die to their own self will and build their obedience muscles.

My desire is not that my kids help keep a clean home, but that they have joyful hearts when asked to serve in our home. The very heart of servant hood and obedience is humility. A quality that will be seen in the way we live our lives.

It is only by God's grace with me that I can learn to to apologize to the kids when I am disobedient. I am slowly growing more confident and keeping the end in sight as we fall and get back up to run the race we are called to finish. I pray that I will be a better example to my children to teach by my walk rather than by my talk.