And yet...another great book: A Mother's Heart by Jean Fleming.
This book has came along at perfect timing for me. When Allen and I were 1st engaged, I tried to break it off with him several times as I was pretty sure I didn't even want kids and I knew he did. I feel like I'm not one of those naturally wise mom's with wonderful insight as to how to really love and educate and deal with children, yet that seems to fallen in my lap as my full time job as now we are expecting our 5th in March and homeschooling and me wondering at times if I was suppose to be a 1 kid parent and I've mistakenly gotten someone else's assignment:)
This book has tenderly spoken to my heart. We have company coming over for supper this week and so of course the house has become my pressure point of tension. Before kids, I thought I might actually have a shot at being the next Martha Stewart. I dreamed of a home that looked like it came straight out of the pages of "Better Homes and Gardens". But what I seem to accomplish is Pillsbury cookies and decorations sitting in the attic that I have never hung or put out and a house that often times resembles a garden of chaos. I still have that innate desire to entertain and present a lovely everything-in-it's-place, type A personality home, it is just that sometimes the pressure to try to get there immediately takes over....like when we are going to have company.
After snapping at the kids for the umpteenth time to pick up something, ANYTHING! and finding myself seething from irritation, I retreated to breathe and happened to pick up the book, and read just 1 page. I am behind on my assigned reading for this book but God knew where I needed to be. One single paragraph almost strangled me with quilt and slapped me back into reality of having a home with 4 little ones there constantly, a business to run and school to be had.
"How easy to allow the pressure of company (or you could insert here any current pressure point you are dealing with) to determine my values. My guest will be here only for a few hours, but I will live with my children many years. So I've decided not to let what company thinks of my house-keeping or hostessing become more important than "walking blamelessly in my own house."
Thank you Lord for speaking to my heart and teaching me through the words of another mom. Forgive me for letting my little ones take the brunt of my harshness yesterday. Renew our spirits today to reflect a love like yours.
Just a woman in it for the long haul of marriage, gaining humility thru this parenting gig and slinging hope and humor to those around me.
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2 comments:
I love coming into your home for that very purpose Suzanne. Some days it's neat and some days not so neat, but the laughter and love that runs through the current of your home is fun to be around.
Sounds like a good read, one that I too would gain alot of benefit out of! I'll have to see about getting a copy, I want to be Martha Stewart in the worst way, but I'm just not cut from her cloth..What's worse is that My sister IS cut from her cloth and so it's doubly hard! Ah well..that's how it goes sometimes :)
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