Let Grace Reign Down

Moms, can we offer up our grace to one another?  Can it be our rally call?  Our anthem?  Our tears and plea?  Grace to the mother!

Maybe because I am my own worst enemy that I often feel a deep sting when I'm on the receiving end of condemnation in my parenting walk.  And I have seen the damage it does.  From the new mom still learning to the seasoned mom that felt she should have known better.

For the majority of us moms, we do all we can and are all we know to be.  We belong to MOPS, MIT and other play groups.  We had a collection of books from Raising up Boys to Managers of our Homes.  Our days are filled with one decision after another that carosels around our kiddos.  And we all lay down at the end of the day tired and replaying moments of our day that we wish weren't going down in the record book.  We all have bad moments, make less than stellar choices, have meltdowns and wish we could push the "do-over" button.  Let us offer as much grace to other moms as the Lord offers to us.  He comforts us as we share our tears and dissapointments.  Let us offer encouragement and a kind word to that mother that has the crying child in the grocery store or the one playing limp noodle so he cannot be picked up and carried to the car graciously.

We do not know all that the Lord plans for us.  We might have some amazing kids.  Today.  But there are no guarantees.  We may have some really challenging kids.  Today.  But the Lord is faithful to finish a good work.  I have seen faithful families produce unfaithful children.  Amazing children from the spawn hellion.  And a mix of the good, bad and ugly all from one family. 

When we are tempted to think we are doing something so right that others should glean from our wisdom and take notes, let us remember that satan tries to destroy some of us by way of increase (Matthew 13:22).  And when we are tempted to think are so failing at this parenting thing and everyone else does it better, let us remember that satan tries to destroy some of us by way of decrease (Luke 13:16).  If we've had a bad week, we need the encouragment and if we've had a great day, reach out to another mom that we know needs that overflow from you.

Do I have one very difficult child because it was a surprise to the Lord?  No.  He knew the very DNA to this little redheaded spitfire before I knew he existed.  The Lord knew I had it in me even if that requires some growing on my part.  Going thru the fire refines.  The Lord also knew that I have it in me that if I had all compliant wonderful easy children, that I would probably go around gloating at my skills and asking if anyone wanted my autograph.   

The next time we are tempted to judge and disgrace another momma, remember that she is just as tired, just as worn, just as desperate to make good choices for her brood as we are.  We do not know all that goes on behind a single status update and behind closed doors. 

Weary Moms Unite

Oh sweet mommas.  I have had you on my heart.  You fellow weary travelers on the parenting and potty road.  I have so much to say and so little left to offer.  Big dreams and tiny slivers of time.  Lysa Terkeurst in her book, "Unglued" has a phrase that I repeat often.  "Imperfect Progress".  I am that mom that has 6 kids and homeschools in a town that doesn't.  We are the misfit toys.  And as you other moms of many know, so often just the fact that we are skilled at multiplying and have a calling to homeschool, lands us on that invisible platform that others seem to think we must have it all together, that our kids must be so obedient, that our lives must be organized and beautiful.  I have come so that others may have hope. 

Once I started being completely transparent, I found freedom and deep friendships.  And the weight, OH THE WEIGHT, that lifted.  That was no longer there for ME to feel constantly defeated.

Our bookshelves are filled with enough trees instructing me how to manage my home, shepherd my kids, have a clean house daily, and a holy marriage. Of course I want our house to mimic Better Homes and Gardens.  But the reality is, that is not my bent.  Is housekeeping my gifting?  Depends.  Are you comparing me to what you see on Hoarders or in House Beautiful.  Of course I want polite, sibling loving kids.  The reality is my boys are those boys.  The ones that came home today with a giant snake, have machetes, hunt, wrestle, smell like wet dogs and have to be told to change their stinkin underwear.  The reality is, I struggle with attitudes in my kids.  Of course I want to be meek and gentle, but the reality is I wished we lived in New Jersey because then I would blend in and just be considered loud and telling it how it is, not yelling.  Of course I want my husband to be the spiritual leader and be called to teach classes at homeschool conventions on "how to support your wife in all she does".  The reality is, my husband is a good man, loves God.  Doesn't know Peter from Paul nor is he even remotely aware of where his bible was last located.  So I continue to strive towards that imperfect progress. 

 After our 5th baby, we just wanted to be closer to family, bless their hearts, and my dad was diagnosed with leukemia around the same time.  So that brought on the move.  We moved away from a town we loved and friends we adored and a business that was going into it's eighth year. I had so many grand plans for the house, the life, the homeschool group we would create, making up time for all the years I had lost with siblings and their families.  But the reality was, our 1st house option didn't work out, we lived with my parents in tight quarters almost a year until a home opened across the street.  We moved back in to their house a year later to buy it as my dad is now too ill to work and my mom has a full time job caring for him.  Even after raising her kids, she now is weary again.  I was at my peak of all time weariness.  2 babies 11 months apart.  One with a plethora of ear problems.  I have no homeschool connections with friends of same aged kids.  We have been forced to tear down what was once our identity formed by titles and appointments on the calendar and rebuild it on the rock in the wilderness.  Baby steps towards progress. 

We are gaining strength and stamina.  Keeping our weakness to ourselves makes it stronger.  Exposing our weakness, makes us stronger.  We are brought thru the refining fires to make progress.  We are brought thru struggles to reach out a hand and tell other moms, you can do this.  Just one more step.  Just one foot in front of the other.  I have been there.

I love the new movement of exposing the not so super super moms.  Admitting and embracing the weary mom that is all of us at different times.  The years of giving, sacrificing, loving, living with our hearts on our sleeves, having kids that yell in the grocery when you finally make it after being out of bread for two days.  Being sick and no one waiting on you hand and foot.  Being a referee just one time to many.  Trying to jump over the invisible goal bar that we set too high to even reach.  All those things make a spirit tired.  You are not alone and there is nothing wrong with being tired in this season of life.  Focus on just this day, what are you going to do today to make strides towards your imperfect progress?  We were created to need more and that more is Christ.  As we are empty He is the one that can fill us, care for us, love us.  He is holding out a hand to us and saying, just one more step, don't quit, I am here.

Halloween 2012

My dad has always always had a great sense of humor and has always loved Halloween.  Yesterday we dressed up as Edna & Tracy Turnblad from the movie Hairspray.  He had chemo this week so this was our afternoon outting.  I dropped him off at the door and my the time I parked the Suburban and walked in, there was already a crowd of nurses and my dad was so pleased with putting smiles on everyone's faces. 

To our surprise, it was such a hit that they called the local paper and they came out to interview him.  I hope that we get another Halloween to celebrate again together.  Cancer can be really ugly, but as scripture tells us in Proverbs 17:22, "A joyful heart is good medicine."  And my dad is joyful.   

Come Lord Jesus!

Come Lord Jesus!  Am I the only one so exhausted at times that cries this plea out?  Exhausted with the catastrophic world events, the injustices of the world, the disappointments, people?  Some days, honestly dishes, laundry, sibling rivalry, finding those 4 beautiful-when-boughten-but-soon-became-forgotten peaches found molding in the bottom drawer of the frig and the effort it takes to convince the 5 year old to put on his swim trunks that he IS finishing swim lessons is enough for me to cry out this plea.

It Has Been a Long Time.

It has been a long time since I have written here.  I have missed writing on a consistent basis and I have missed having a computer with Internet.  Our goals and plans for this past year were not the same as His.  We moved and didn't have a home right away an stayed with my gracious and hospitable parents.  We added another sweet baby boy to the mix....while not having our own place.  The kids are growing quickly, life is changing always..  I have to be careful to not try to recreate what I had before while trying to build a new life here at the sake of missing what is is that the Lord has for me now.

Devotion for Baby Shower

I am so sad to miss out on this opportunity to get to celebrate LeAnne and the gift of this baby boy. I was asked to share a devotional and while honored, I also know my wisdom and experience pales in comparison to many ladies that are in LeAnne's life. Especially the example of her mom Judy. I am so thankful for their close relationship and friendship and the instruction that her parents and Josh's parents give to them to seek after the Lord. The is no greater accomplishment. My own parenting has been a constant learning process and with each new child I realize how little I only thought I knew. I pray for less of me and my weaknesses so that HE can fill and lead our family.

Devotional:


Live Fully in the moment. While it is easy to love a sleeping, snuggling, cooing baby. Kisses on warm fuzzy heads & velvet skin. Chubby little fingers, toes and thighs. That breathtaking love so deep that our hearts hurt as they sigh and find utter fulfillment resting on our chests. As those first hours turn into days and then weeks of lack of sleep & showers, crying and dirty diapers, hurting breasts that are barely get a break, the wishing for the next phase of babylife can set in. But that 3, 6, 9-month mark will come all too fast. The time we have to protect, instruct and influence them is short. Lord help us as moms to see thru your eye. To see. To see the gift of each day, hour and moment.


Laugh Often. My own kids antics can quickly push me over the line of sanity when I stop looking at how can this be funny? When I view questions as interruptions, when I view a tired or sick child as a kink in my day I had planned on paper. As I sit typing this up, I watch our 4th and most rambunctious, always loud child, slowly and diligently sorting and lining up his crayons in perfect order in his school box. How many moments have I robbed him and myself of joy for being annoyed that the crayons where on the floor and snapped to pick them up. I saw a wall decal just this week that said "Boy: noise covered in dirt." It made me laugh and brought a fresh breath and new retinas for me as I washed clothes covered in sand and cat poop. As I washed boots that had been filled to the brim with gravel, as I had to tell the boys to put on clean underwear, wash their hands, not to wear their socks 2 days in a row, to take the karate outside, that "no we were eating only meat for supper", that if I can smell them from more than 20 feet away from all the grease from them working on the trailer it didn't matter that it wasn't bedtime, it WAS bathtime. There is a time to laugh and oftentimes it is when we least feel like it.


Love Always. This new baby coming into the Hudson's home is going to be a tangible gift of love from God. Babies are so easy to love and overwhelm us with emotions. To love so deeply a child you have only seen for mere seconds. That we have loved since the instant the lines turned pink. From the first kick in mommas tummy. It is an echo of the Lord's heart for each of us. May we follow the Lords instructions to pursue righteousness in our own hearts as we lead our children to Him.


"The parent must always self-parent first, self-preach before child-teach. Christ incarnated in the parent is the only hope of incarnating Christ in the child." - Ann Voskamp. Love produces better results. Love is Jesus's way. By His example we can see how to gently yet passionately and unselfishly love our children.


Lord thank you for the blessing of this baby boy. Not just another child, but another warrior for your Kingdom. Thank you for the gifts you have bestowed in him already. Open the eyes of the Hudson Family to help develop those gifts as you entrust him to their care. May there be plenty of love and laughter even in the days of long nights and overflowing laundry. May Elijah and Maddie take on the role of mentors to their younger sibling. Thank you for the gift of relationships and children. May we love like you. Amen.

Quick Update

We are moved and not settled and will be moving again in the next 2 months. Or at least that is our personal goal. Allen's new job has relocated us out of state and back to my hometown. The house we are planning to move into is a HUD home so it is taking a little longer to close than what anyone thought. For the time being we are staying with my parents. Thankfully they are very hospitable. After closing there is some work to do before we can move in, or at least before I want to move in. Everything is in storage at this point other than the box of clothes that each person has to live out of. There is still much to be done...new driver's licences....tags...storage building and business back in Arkansas. The kids are enjoying swimming lessons, volleyball camp, and most of all grandma and grandpa.