Psalms 55
I have to admit I have been hunkered down in my little cave for some time now. Feeling as if I could hide forever, never to venture out to face the world with all my failures and nakedness. Not having the strength to take one more hit of hurt. I have felt that if I did disappear, would the hole I left be much like the hole left when I take my hand out of the sink of water? Or would life as everyone knows it just close back in and the ripples quickly subside and where I once held a place instantly fill and the imprint lost?
This Psalm is such a powerful one for me when I get to that black hole in my life where from nothing else by weary exhaustion of feeling like I'm doing all I can and giving my best, it just isn't going to be enough. This is the Psalm I'm drawn back to. When I'm hiding and crying in my cave, hiding from my enemies, it is in that darkness and quietness when there is noone to call out to but Him.
In the scriptures here was David. Chased, mocked, attacked, ridiculed, running, hiding, lost. I also think of Christ. How exhausted He must have been in those last days, trying so hard to reach the masses and while the numbers grew, all was closing in. The time was coming for Him to have to drag his cross. He bore far more weight and pain physically, emotionally, spiritually then I couldn't even being to understand. So of course if the King of all Kings and David the chosen King for God's Chosen people had to face heartache than there is certainty that I too will at times be in dark places.
David wanted to fly away and be at rest far from his enemies, far from his problems. I understand that. There are times I think, I could just sleep all day, be in my own world, just wake me up when enough time has passed that the problems will have drifted by. But with 4 little ones...sleep is not always possible...even at night.
vs 12-14 If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God." This is where the heart of the most painful of hurts comes for David. These foes had once been his friends. Yesterday I was blessed with getting to spend some precious time with a friend and we talked about how that sting of friends acting as foes hurts so much worse. Those times in my life that I can think of where I felt most defeated and those are those times when my friends acted as my own enemies. I think this is why the NT instructs when to not gossip, not be busy bodies and not be chattering fools. These are the times when I want to close off my world except to my protective circle of 12 ladies and my family. To just hide and not be vulnerable, to not put myself in harms way, to not be a voice...to be invisible. Yet I'm to go to the ends of the earth to proclaim His glory.
And there is victory and glory coming. For God is sovereign and we can turn to Him. He is waiting for us to call out to be picked up. Life is not unfolding around us by randomness or by the hand of the evil one. God is orchestrating and using lives of those who do not believe, using the events that cause us pain and worry using friends that act as foes as part of His comprehensive plan for the universe.
I Peter5:6-7 Humble yourself under God's mighty hand that in due time He will lift you up. When worry comes we can cast that worry off by praying to God. When heartache comes we can find some relief and true agape love in Him.
Phil 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything. But with prayer and petition with thanksgiving , present your requests to God, which transcends all understanding, and he will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ.
It is imporssibe to not worry unless we have faith and faith comes from hearing the word of God and hearing Him speak to us through the Bible.
I have to admit I have been hunkered down in my little cave for some time now. Feeling as if I could hide forever, never to venture out to face the world with all my failures and nakedness. Not having the strength to take one more hit of hurt. I have felt that if I did disappear, would the hole I left be much like the hole left when I take my hand out of the sink of water? Or would life as everyone knows it just close back in and the ripples quickly subside and where I once held a place instantly fill and the imprint lost?
This Psalm is such a powerful one for me when I get to that black hole in my life where from nothing else by weary exhaustion of feeling like I'm doing all I can and giving my best, it just isn't going to be enough. This is the Psalm I'm drawn back to. When I'm hiding and crying in my cave, hiding from my enemies, it is in that darkness and quietness when there is noone to call out to but Him.
In the scriptures here was David. Chased, mocked, attacked, ridiculed, running, hiding, lost. I also think of Christ. How exhausted He must have been in those last days, trying so hard to reach the masses and while the numbers grew, all was closing in. The time was coming for Him to have to drag his cross. He bore far more weight and pain physically, emotionally, spiritually then I couldn't even being to understand. So of course if the King of all Kings and David the chosen King for God's Chosen people had to face heartache than there is certainty that I too will at times be in dark places.
David wanted to fly away and be at rest far from his enemies, far from his problems. I understand that. There are times I think, I could just sleep all day, be in my own world, just wake me up when enough time has passed that the problems will have drifted by. But with 4 little ones...sleep is not always possible...even at night.
vs 12-14 If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God." This is where the heart of the most painful of hurts comes for David. These foes had once been his friends. Yesterday I was blessed with getting to spend some precious time with a friend and we talked about how that sting of friends acting as foes hurts so much worse. Those times in my life that I can think of where I felt most defeated and those are those times when my friends acted as my own enemies. I think this is why the NT instructs when to not gossip, not be busy bodies and not be chattering fools. These are the times when I want to close off my world except to my protective circle of 12 ladies and my family. To just hide and not be vulnerable, to not put myself in harms way, to not be a voice...to be invisible. Yet I'm to go to the ends of the earth to proclaim His glory.
And there is victory and glory coming. For God is sovereign and we can turn to Him. He is waiting for us to call out to be picked up. Life is not unfolding around us by randomness or by the hand of the evil one. God is orchestrating and using lives of those who do not believe, using the events that cause us pain and worry using friends that act as foes as part of His comprehensive plan for the universe.
I Peter5:6-7 Humble yourself under God's mighty hand that in due time He will lift you up. When worry comes we can cast that worry off by praying to God. When heartache comes we can find some relief and true agape love in Him.
Phil 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything. But with prayer and petition with thanksgiving , present your requests to God, which transcends all understanding, and he will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ.
It is imporssibe to not worry unless we have faith and faith comes from hearing the word of God and hearing Him speak to us through the Bible.
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~simply~